I only woke up worried a few times last night, and I don’t remember having any nightmares so I think it was a decent night. I’m still pretty tired, though, so a few more decent nights would be great.
As usual, I couldn’t get back to sleep after J left this morning, and I couldn’t summon the willpower to crawl out of bed, either. Eventually, I managed to stop staring at the closet and got out of bed to have some breakfast and take my medication.
I don’t enjoy going for my prescribed walks, and I enjoy them even less when it’s warm out. It’s been pretty warm around here lately – this past Saturday was particularly swampy and gross – so I thought it might be a good idea to do my walk before my exercises to try and beat the heat. As an added bonus, we were expecting a parcel today and they usually come shortly before or shortly after noon. It was very pleasant out, with lots of nice smells and almost no pedestrian or vehicular traffic. I chose to wander around the neighbouring streets instead of heading for the grocery store or creek. I’m still planning to get to the creek soon but I didn’t feel like heading that way today.
After I got home, I did my exercises. At my appointment last Thursday, Dr P gave me the thumbs up to try FA’s idea of wearing ear defenders over my earbuds to block out the house and outside sounds while I’m trying to concentrate on my mindfulness and worrying. It works quite well (thanks again, FA!)! It does cause a bit of a problem in that part of me thinks that I should be paying attention to everything around me and not trying to block them out. I have, however, (so far) successfully argued that anything important enough to need my attention will be loud enough to hear through the ear defenders and beach sounds.
After I was done my exercises, I spent some time working on my homework. Dr P and I are still working on ACT and personal values, and this week I’m attempting to focus my statements and make them more precise. It sounds silly, but writing out and describing my personal values is difficult. Part of it is because I don’t feel like I do a good job at any of them. Loyalty? Sure, I THINK it’s something I value, but when was the last time I spoke to WG? Or any of those people from the local motorcycle group? Selflessness is another one. How can I be selfless when I barely contribute to stuff around the house? Creativity? Anything?
I took a break from my increasingly frustrating homework to fire off my usual round of texts and have some lunch. As I’d expected, the doorbell rang at about 12:45 and I opened the door to find a parcel on the front step. I finished off my texts and went back to my homework.
Speaking of texts, I exhausted the collection of silly animal pictures and short videos I send along. J reminded me the other day that we had a collection of stuff on the computer, so I decided to go through that instead of prowling the corridors of the Internet. In addition to finding some junk, I found quite a few pictures and videos that I think will do the trick for the next little while.
Oh, and since I didn’t do my usual weekend recap post last night, I would like to mention a couple of things. I got some good news from my sister. Let me go at this slowly so I get it right. Her husbands… sister’s… daughter had a baby this weekend, and everybody is happy and healthy. The text conversation I was having with my sister about it went really well up to the point where I pointed out that that made her a great-aunt.
We also had some company this weekend – J’s aunt came over for a visit on Sunday evening. She and J went for a walk and when they got back the three of us had a really good chat. It was great to see her, and I hope she comes over more often.
Something I would like to do tomorrow is take the quadcopter outside and take another shot at flying it. I will be sure to check and make sure there isn’t even the faintest breath of air first, though. I’m going to work on my homework some more and see if I can fix up that little blurb about cells that I want to send to my nephews. Got to keep busy.
I am fighting to stay awake so if parts of this post don’t make any sense or are repetitive or weird, it’s not you – it’s me.