Tired And Down

Song: N/A

Mood: 5

Nightmares: 0

I don’t have much oomph left so we’ll see how far I get writing this out tonight.

I woke up several times last night; fortunately, none of them were due to nightmares. I still wish I could only wake up once or twice.

My exercises didn’t go very well again. I got through them but it felt like I put a lot more into it today than I got out of it, which isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

I sent out my texts today and chatted with some people. The bank called and left a voicemail (I stood there with the phone in my hand, unable to answer it). I don’t think it’s anything serious.

I made an effort today to actively avoid news articles when going through my regular Internet spots. Unfortunately, the places I go to seem to have changed their policy to increase traffic, or things are so bad in places that they feel they need to cover it. I may have to re-evaluate the sites I visit or cut back even more. Some of the stuff that’s going on is really bothering me a lot and even just reading the headline gives me more information than I want.

I went for my walk today and saw the same guy out and doing more shovelling. I’m starting to wonder if he actually lives there and is doing this part of the job by himself and on his own time.

I played more Star Trek. Got two more ships: the USS Halitosis and the USS Ingrown Toenail. I had very high hopes for the Ingrown Toenail since the class of ship was great on TV, but it turns out that “in real life” it’s pretty flimsy. So, I’ve just finished loading out the Halitosis and will go on a shakedown cruise next time I play.

This news stuff is really bothering me. I feel terrible about what I’ve read and heard and it’s gnawing at me that there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t even know who the right people to donate to are – or even if there IS an organization that can help. I don’t know. I think that ten or twenty years down the road, people will look back at the current time with some pretty sharp disapproval. At least, I hope so.

I’ve been trying to breathe some life into the truck battery – enough so that the truck can be driven to a place that sells replacement batteries. It’s not looking good, but today was the first time (I’ve been working on this for three days) that the charger finished desulfating and went to charge mode without aborting the charge. It charged for about six hours and only went up about 0.4 volts, but I’ll try again tomorrow and see what happens. I don’t have a lot of hope.

J and I started watching Community again. Even though we were enjoying it (and have seen Community a few times already), we had to get away from the politics in Boston Legal. Almost every single one of the long closing speeches that Alan does or when Alan and Denny argue, all I can think about is how – yes, those things were fought over in court in real life. While I found it amusing in the past, I can’t help but notice how – in the cases he argued against privacy erosion or government oversight or corporate interests or wrongful imprisonment or the treatment of foreigners – in real life the battles have been lost. What bothers me even more is how the verdicts are being reinterpreted or expanded or twisted to fit a particular agenda, and that the people doing the twisting are doing it right out in the open, as if daring someone to do something. And… it seems to look like any time someone calls them on it, they’re either blatantly ignored (if lucky) or called names and scoffed at. I don’t get it. I bet that, if they did a reunion of BL (like they’re doing with so many other shows nowadays), Alan Shore would be either an attorney in a different country, be on at least four blood pressure medications, spend his days drinking scotch and gazing at the photos of Shirley he has, or just sits quietly in a straight-back wicker rocking chair, rocking slowly while meditating. Maybe he’d join the Navy and then go on the run and become a crime lord known the world over. You never know.

Anyway, so, yeah, we’re watching Community again. What a great show. I could watch it a dozen times and keep picking up new stuff.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr W. As usual, I’m really not looking forward to it. As usual, it’s not about Dr W, it’s about me. I consider myself to be very lucky to have Dr W as my psychiatrist.

Maybe I won’t browse to any of my regular sites tomorrow and give myself a break. I could always do a Wikipedia crawl or watch far too many YouTube videos.

Ok, I just realized that I’ve been typing for the last couple of minutes with my eyes closed. I apologize for any bad spelling or grammar. If I notice any tomorrow I will go back and correct it.

Stay safe.