Still Not Good

Song: N/A

Mood: 5

Nightmares: 1

I spent the day on the couch again. Fortunately, my laptop was still sitting beside it so I was able to do some web browsing and play with a Raspberry Pi so at least I wasn’t just sitting there staring at the ceiling for the whole day.

I’m getting really frustrated with myself. I wish I could just will myself out of this rut but there’s no way I can do that right now. I’m not used to downs lasting this long.

I have an appointment with Dr W tomorrow. Hopefully he can help somehow. I’m not really keen on upping the dose on any of my medications but if I have to, I will. I’m hoping that tomorrow he will take me off the lorazepam entirely. That would be the first medication that I no longer need after 18 months. Fingers crossed.

Lloyd still seems to be doing well. I give him food but haven’t seen him eat any for a while. It still disappears, though, so I hope he’s the one eating it. The shrimp seem to only eat food off the bottom of the tank, so with luck Lloyd is getting all the food he needs. I’ve had him for two weeks now. I suppose that if he wasn’t getting any food he’d probably be dead by now.

Halloween is coming and I’m not looking forward to it. All of the sounds and voices outside and people wandering around in the dark makes me anxious.

The temperature is supposed to drop to below freezing over the next few days. I really need to pick up some gas for the motorbike and fill up the tank before we get too many warming/cooling cycles outside. Maybe I’ll do it after my Dr P appointment on Thursday.

Stay safe.

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