Song: “Buttons And Bows” by Dinah Shore
Mood: 7
Nightmares: 0
Ghosts: Several
So aside from a bit of flop sweat, some stammering, and having to fight the urge to bolt outside, I am pretty comfortable saying that yesterday’s expedition to the hardware store that FA and I went on was a success. I really wasn’t sure how it was going to go but I’m glad that we went to the store first and then had burritos later. I even have proof that I went to the hardware store. I am reluctant to use the word “selfie” but I wanted to have some kind of proof to show Dr C and Dr W at our next appointments:
Life is tough when you’re this handsome…
One of the things that we found yesterday was a neat little flashlight/wall switch thing. I’ve always been a fan of flashlights (you can never have too many, and some are better for some jobs than others), and I was looking for a flashlight with some bright LEDs in it I could harvest to light some lithophane frames I’m making. We looked at a couple of flashlights that were a little underwhelming before we came across these:
They looked pretty cheesy but when one of us flipped the switch, we were both gobsmacked at how much light the thing put out:
Since they seemed to be a pretty good deal (I priced the parts out and making one of them would’ve cost at least 15 bucks, while these were selling for $3.99 AND most of them came with batteries installed), I thought some other people might be able to use them so I sent out some texts to family and friends and got quite an excited response from most people. So…
You’re not going to believe this…
J and I went out to the hardware store this morning and bought every one of those lights they had. We were in there quick (and I took some PRNs before we left), and after we were done there we went to the library (I stayed in the car). Then we went to the water store (I went in and carried the bottle out), and then we went to the bank (the drive-thru ATM), and then to the grocery store (I stayed in the car).
Then we went home. It was a huge relief to get back but I was doing okay. That’s two outings in two days that weren’t mandatory appointments, and I MADE IT!!!
I really, REALLY hope that this is a sign of things to come. I’m going to try to avoid getting too excited about it because there are always downs and I don’t want it to feel like the end of the world for me, but I’m feeling encouraged by this.
As an added bonus, I went downstairs this afternoon and sat in the room with the printer. I did some grounding and some deep-breathing exercises, and then I got to work trying to convince myself that I used to be good at electronics and some of it must be in there somewhere. I tried to keep the self-doubt back and the end result is I can now turn my printer on and off by connecting to the print server. This is something I’ve wanted to be able to do since the first week I had it – powering up the printer and getting it ready to print takes 10-15 minutes, and being able to do it from a warm seat on the upstairs couch while covered with a blanket is really nice. Plus, the less air disturbance around the printer, the better. PLUS PLUS, having electronics control the 120V power to the printer means that there will be more features I can put in later, like adding a heat sensor or smoke detector that will cut power to the printer if it detects something bad going on. But that’s stuff for another day.
Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me, supported me, had my back, believed in me, cared about me, made me laugh, made me think, and has stuck around despite me literally and clinically going crazy. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here without you, and I certainly wouldn’t have just bought 35 light switch things from the hardware store. Thank you all so much – I wish I knew something better to say but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
I have no idea what tomorrow holds but today is going pretty well.
Stay safe.