Short Post Today, It’s Time For Bed

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Didn’t sleep well again last night and that beeping is driving me nuts. I think it’s getting quieter, though, so maybe the batteries in whatever it is are just about finished. That’ll be good, but I’ll still want to find whatever it was that’s beeping – I don’t want it to sit there and have the batteries leak and ruin it. Whatever it is.

I wasn’t able to get back to sleep after J left this morning, and there was a large work truck delivering shingles to the neighbour at around 7:30AM. They didn’t shut the truck off, and the rumbling bothered me enough that I had to get out of bed and find out what the sound was, and I didn’t go back to bed.

Exercises went pretty well. I’m arguing with myself quite a bit with the ear defenders on but it’s so much better than before. I’m getting through my exercises regularly again, which makes a big difference in how my day goes.

Day went alright. Texted with a couple of people and finished up my homework for Dr P.

Played a bit of Star Trek this morning. Can’t do missions or anything like that because I can’t pause the game if I need to, say, check the chimney because I’m afraid birds are nesting in it. Or if the dishwasher doesn’t sound quite right. Or if I can’t remember whether I unplugged the toaster. Or turned off the stove, or flushed the toilet. You get the idea. Anyway, so I can’t pause it so I usually only play when J is home. I do go on when I’m by myself sometimes and take five or ten minutes to go to the bank or look through my inventory, usually whilst standing in a fountain. Well, today when I was done my banking (that’s about as exciting as it sounds), I had an idea. I pulled out a fire extinguisher and started spraying it everywhere. Lots of other people got in on it – some dancing, some making weird lights happen, and some making fish fall from the sky. Then I started telling some jokes and I got a bunch of “join fleet” requests. It was about ten minutes but it was kind of fun.

My Dr P appointment was difficult again but I think progress is happening. We spent a lot of time discussing what I had on my new values worksheet. My sheet indicated that things like selflessness, loyalty, and helping others are at the top of the list when it comes to what’s bothering me about myself. We talked a lot about ideas of things that I could do to give back to the community or even complete strangers. I am going to spend a lot of time thinking about this over the next week. I’d really like to do some volunteering at the local hospital or somehow give back to the mental health services around here, but I need to start smaller. I am cursing myself for not recording the session with my phone.

And now I’m off to bed.

Stay safe.

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