J just dropped me off at the hospital about 20 minutes ago, concluding my pass. A few anxious times aside, the pass went very well. I’m okay being by myself while J’s at work, I’m okay keeping myself busy, and my sleep is now back to 8-10 hours per day instead of 18-20. That thick cloud of depression is now just a tiny dot on the horizon and I’m feeling pretty darn good.
With luck, I’ll be discharged tomorrow afternoon. It will be very good to be home. With a little more luck, it’ll be more than a month until my next visit. Who knows, maybe this will be my last time in the psych ward.
I spoke with my nurse after I got back and she said that if I have to come back it’s okay and in its own way a good sign. I used to be very reluctant to ask anyone for assistance but now I’m a lot more comfortable saying when I’m in trouble and asking for help. I think it’s very important to be able to do that; after all, people won’t know to help me unless I say something.
I’ve said it before and said it again that I’m so grateful to J, Dr C, Dr W, and the staff at the hospital for picking up the pieces and putting me back together again. It’s not much of a stretch to say that I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for all of them. Saying thanks and sending a letter or card is all I can do but it never seems like enough. I hope everyone knows how grateful I am.