I slept better last night than I have in weeks. It wasn’t just a good sleep – it was one of those woke-up-in-the-same-position-I-went-to-bed kind of sleeps. I had a bunch of weird dreams, though – the weirdest one was where I was a journalist, covering a roller derby event but the players would stop playing and form a chorus line and start singing every time I tried to take a picture. They say dreams mean something but I have no idea what that one could possibly mean in the real world.
Weird dreams aside, I feel good today, too. My mood is good, I don’t feel down… everything seems like it’s turned around and is headed upwards. Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, but for the most part, I’m just glad I feel okay.
Dr W and I discussed depression yesterday and we agreed to migrate me from the sertraline over to venlafaxine. I had my first dose this morning, and… nothing. I didn’t notice a thing. Hopefully that’s a good omen for how the entire migration will go.
My appointment with Dr W today went well. He was surprised at the difference in how I was compared to 24 hours earlier. He told me to be optimistic but remember that there may be downs with the ups. Since my head is clearer and I’m not thinking of bad stuff, he gave me privileges so I can go off the ward by myself for 20 minutes as long as I stay on the hospital grounds. He also gave me a two hour pass that I can take with family or close friends.
This morning in group we made cookies and two types of oatmeal cups. Everything turned out really well and I got the recipe for the cookies to use when I get home.
By the time the afternoon rolled around, I was feeling a little groggy so I took a bit of a nap. I missed the afternoon group but woke up in time for supper. I have to say that the food here is really not too shabby. Sometimes it looks like it’s been in the warmer for too long but considering how many people they’re feeding, I think it’s pretty good.
J came to visit after supper! Since I’d been given a two hour pass, J and I could go down to the cafeteria on the main floor, talk, and hang out. It sure was good to see her again, I really miss her when we’re apart. J had some exciting work news too so that was great to hear. We talked the entire time and it was wonderful. I used my two hour pass right to the minute. The hospital is not overly convenient to get to so I really appreciate her showing up and bringing supplies along.
This evening I’m just taking it easy and enjoying how I feel. I really hope things keep on getting better but if there’s a down, that’s okay. I’m definitely in the right place to have it.