Chilly Out There This Morning

Song: “The Passenger” by Iggy Pop

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Woke up a lot last night. I’m not sure what made last night particularly bad but I think I was awake a couple of times an hour at some points. It’s tough to convince myself that everything’s alright and I can go back to sleep when the target of my worries keeps jumping around. It goes something like this:

“Are the doors locked?” my mind says over and over until I can’t stand it. Fine, whatever. I pick up my phone, squint at it, and look through the photos I took on my circuit of the house just before bed. Yes, the doors are locked. I feel better.

Then, my mind says, “Did I say doors? I meant the washing machine. You ran it today. Did you check that?” I pick up the phone again, take a look, and yes, the washing machine was fine just before bed. Something could’ve happened since then, though…

“Nevermind the washing machine – I bet the hot water tank is leaking,” says my mind. Yes, I have a photo of the water tank, and there’s no sign of leaks either up in the pipes or on the ground. But there could be by now – it’s been a couple of hours since I went to bed. And what about the washing machine? I’m starting to get more uncomfortable about that now, too.

I scrutinize the photos on my phone again, taking care to look for strange reflections that would show water where it wasn’t supposed to be. I don’t see any. I hold my breath and listen but don’t hear anything dripping or running. I try very hard to rationalize things like what the odds are that a hose would just happen to blow right after I checked it and would be too quiet to hear. I do some grounding. I listen to J breathing. I start to calm down.

“Okay, I’m glad you’re feeling better,” says my mind, “but I meant to ask you – are the doors locked?”

And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Usually I only get out of bed for nightmares, but on nights where I can’t shake what I’m worrying about, I’ll get out of bed and do a (hopefully quiet) circuit or two around the house to make sure everything’s okay. Sometimes I take my phone along and get yet another set of pictures. Sometimes that helps, sometimes it doesn’t.

Geez, I spent far too long talking about my nights. Anyway, short story – I didn’t sleep well and I’m tired today.

I went for my walk this morning and hooooo boy, was it chilly. Once I got started it wasn’t too bad, but I don’t think it was t-shirt and shorts weather. I don’t want to give up on summer yet, though.

I skipped my exercises again today. I wanted to do them but went and listened to music and sketched out some ideas for things. I’m not in any kind of dire straits or anything like that, but not doing my exercises is definitely a negative influence on my day. Not the end of the world, though, so I’m interested in what Dr C is going to think about it.

Didn’t do anything with the truck today. That’s okay, there are still six days left in the week.

Got some more laundry done. All hail the Laundry King.

Cleaned up the kitchen.

J and I made mini pizzas for supper. They were really quite good, and I’m pretty sure I could’ve eaten another one (or two, or three…) if there had been more.

Played some Star Trek Online earlier this evening. Logged in a couple of times during the day to do account and money and buy/sell stuff. It sounds kind of boring (and it is) but I can do that stuff while J’s not here because I can get up from my chair and chase ghosts at any time.

We watched two more episodes of Parks and Recreation this evening. So far, so good!

Stay safe.

I’m Sad The Weekend’s Over

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

As with most weekends, this one went by far too quickly. I spent a lot of time thinking. I also did some laundry – I’ve been bad about it lately (and by lately, I mean the last year or so) and J’s been picking up my slack but it’s about time the Laundry King made a return.

Saturday evening, J and I watched Deadpool 2. It was pretty good. Lots of swearing, lots of people getting various parts chopped off, but the feel of the first movie was still there. I know you can’t just repeat the same gags movie after movie but I would’ve enjoyed another Zamboni chase.

I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the stuff Dr C and I talked about on Thursday. She suggested that I pick something to try and give it a shot for a couple of days to see how it goes. I’m also still thinking about what she said about my morning exercises. I decided to not do my exercises for a week or until I can’t stand not doing them anymore. If I get to the point where I can’t stand it, then I know that I’m using them to feed the OCD and that’s not good. If I feel like I’m just a bit out of sorts because I didn’t do them, then I think they’re a help and that’s good. I’m two days in and so far I just feel like my day’s not quite right.

I also decided that this week I will start the truck. To do that, I need to get a new battery. I also need to get a tender to keep said battery charged. I’ve got a little one that I use for the motorcycle battery but it’s not big enough to reliably maintain a battery when there are electronics hooked up to it and drawing current from it at the same time. SO… I need to get things in order and do this. The truck has sat for far too long. I would like to back it out onto the driveway and wash it. Maybe drive it around the block. Who knows.

I am also going to try and focus on the stuff I’m building for DA and stop both scope creep and thinking of other, more complicated ideas. I am going to get it done this week. Once that’s done, if I’m still in the mood, I’ll play around with other ideas.

So that’s my plan. Oh, and there’s probably going to be a lot more laundry in there somewhere, too.

Stay safe.

And On Toward The Weekend

Song: “Ocean Man” by Ween

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 2?

I slept a little better last night despite a couple of nightmares, one of which sent me to the couch in the living room for about 45 minutes. I really wish I could sleep in. Even on the days when J is so quiet and stealthy that I’m not aware of her getting up and heading to work, I still wake up around 7:45-8AM and can’t get back to sleep. It would be really nice if, when I had a particularly rough night, I could sleep in or be able to take a nap. Except in very rare cases, neither sleeping in nor napping is possible.

It was cool but very nice out this morning. I walked around the block twice (although once I took a shortcut through the park). Things are still damp from the storms we got the other night and the air smelled pleasant, although one car I walked by smelled very strongly of perfume. Bleccch.

My exercises went a little better today. When I was talking to Dr C about them on Thursday, I mentioned that if I didn’t do them or if they didn’t go well, I didn’t feel right for the rest of the day. Dr C then asked me a question that concerned me a bit – is me spending time in the mornings doing mindfulness and worrying a good part of my day, or is it another unhealthy thing that I feel I must do or bad things will happen? I wasn’t sure how to answer, and it’s got me thinking. I hope it’s not another symptom/expression of my OCD or anxiety – I’ve spent a lot of time and effort getting it to where it works pretty often and it’s so much more than just sitting in a chair for 15 minutes. I’ll have to think about that some more.

I worked and thought a lot about DA’s cabin stuff. It seems like each day I have another idea for something to try. I haven’t felt this creative in quite a while. Am I actually going to successfully build anything? Who knows, but darn it if I’m not having ideas coming out my ears.

My mom called today and we had a good chat. She was curious about how my appointments went this week and told me about her next set of renovation plans. Lots of stuff going on!

Speaking of renovations, when I was on my way to my appointment on Thursday, we passed by a house where the front yard was done in a very interesting way. We have two flower beds out front, but only one of them can grow anything – the other one gets too much sun and reflection off the siding and windows and anything we plant pretty much burns to a crisp. I’ve always felt that a house should be close to symmetrical, but the house I saw only had one flower bed, whilst the area between the front step and driveway was decorative stone with step blocks down it for a path to the front step. On the side with the stones, plants were growing from raised planters up against the house. I thought it looked pretty nice, and it shouldn’t be too hard to do…

J and I hung out this evening and watched some more Parks and Recreation. So far, season 3 is going well. I’m not sure what happened to one of the characters (they’re gone and aren’t even mentioned) but the show has the same feel to it. I like that.

I hope you all have a good weekend – find something fun to do!

Stay safe.

Too Tired To Do A Proper Post

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 3+

Didn’t sleep so well again last night and I’m really dragging right now so just a quick post. My appointment with Dr C went reasonably well I think. She has a very impressive memory. Her schedule is still a little not quite ironed out so I’ll be seeing her in a couple of weeks, but we’ll get back to weekly sessions soon.

Had another storm come through the area last night at around 1:30AM. Lots more lightning, quite a few booms, and a lot more rain. There are lots of ankle deep road-spanning puddles out there right now.

Okay, I’m going to stop here. If, tomorrow, I find I can remember anything from today, I’ll probably do up another post going into more detail about today.

Stay safe.

A Nice Storm This Evening

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 2

I didn’t sleep very well again last night. Only two nightmares (neither of which sent me to the living room) but I woke up quite a few times with my stomach tied in knots, positive that something was horribly wrong.

My exercises went better than they did yesterday. I still had trouble staying focused (mainly because I was so tired) but I felt better when I was done, and that’s the whole point of doing them.

I spent some more time today playing around with that piezo buzzer and didn’t have much more luck. I got it to weakly hum once, but that’s about it. FA sent me a text suggesting that I re-use the smoke detector circuit board since it already has everything on there. I should be able to re-solder the buzzer leads, plug in a 9V battery (which is what I’m hoping to run the whole thing on, anyway), and then press the smoke detector test button to start the beeping. I’ve already spent way too long working on that beeper and need to get to some other parts, too.

I looked up batteries for the truck today, and was originally thinking of seeing if J would be amenable to stopping on the way home from my Dr W appointment and picking one up (I made sure there were some in stock at a store on the way home). We ended up not stopping – J thought it was a good idea but I wasn’t up to it at that point – but maybe we can make a trip or something sometime soon. The truck hasn’t been started since March, and it’s not good to leave the poor thing just sitting there. Looking at it yesterday made me feel bad that I haven’t done anything with it. It’s just sitting there with the oil settling at the bottom, the gaskets slowly drying, etc, etc…. This time, though, I’m going to put the battery on a tender to keep it charged when the truck’s not being used.

My appointment with Dr W ran longer today than usual. He was particularly interested in what I’ve been doing over the course of a regular day and wanted to make sure that I’m not just sitting in the basement by myself, staring at the wall. Need to keep active and keep the depression away. He was very happy to hear that I was trying to build stuff again, and encouraged me to keep hanging out with J in the evenings and watching a show or two together.

It wasn’t as difficult as some of the appointments I’ve had, but I felt wrung out at the end of it (which is why we didn’t pick up a battery for the truck today). We got home, had supper, and then did our own thing for a while. I played some more Star Trek and thought some more about DA’s cabin stuff. J and I used to talk about having a cabin or cottage or something like that, but I don’t think I could handle not being there and not knowing what was going on. I would be very tempted to install cameras all over the place and then sit in front of a screen, monitoring them (like I did with the house before I ended up in the hospital).

J and I watched some more Parks and Recreation this evening. We’re almost done the second season and the last couple of episodes have been really good. “94 Meetings” in particular was fantastic.

A pretty good storm came through this evening. Lots of thunder and lightning, quite a bit of rain at times (we really need it), and even some hail (we didn’t need that). Aside from one really sharp BOOM, the rest of the storm was pleasant and reminded me of the storms we used to get out in the country when I was growing up. Rolling thunder that kept going and going, and enough lightning to read by. I got a little creeped out when I heard water running while we were watching TV but it turned out to just be the weeping tile draining. I haven’t heard that happen in… well, a couple of years I think. I think it’s because the ground is so dry that it’s pulled away from the foundation and the water is going straight down to the bottom to drain. Nice to know it still drains properly, though.

Tomorrow is my first appointment with Dr C in a little over a year. In addition to my usual reasons for not wanting to go, I’m anxious about changing back and I hope that things go well. I’m going to be grabbing a cab to and from the appointment, too, so that will make things a little more interesting. Wish me luck!

Stay safe.

Very Tired But Kept Busy

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 3?

I fell asleep very quickly last night. Unfortunately, nightmares woke me up a few times (life jackets again) and I ended up having a panic attack in the living room after one of them. I try to be quiet and stealthy when I’m freaking out, but sometimes I can’t help but wake J up. J has said on numerous occasions that I should feel free to wake her up if I need to talk or I’m having a rough time, but I try very hard to keep from disturbing her. I feel really bad when I do.

I gave up on getting back to sleep a little earlier than usual and wandered around the house for a little while before I sat down and had breakfast.

It was raining so I didn’t go for my walk this morning. It had stopped by the afternoon – I probably should’ve gone out then, but I was occupied with other stuff.

My exercises didn’t go well at all. My legs were twitchy this morning. Usually it happens at night but I couldn’t keep still. It’s not hard to guess how mindfulness and meditation goes when you’ve got to move around every 20 seconds. I gave it a try, though.

After I gave up on my exercises, I almost went back to bed but my twitchy legs and a desire to accomplish something kept me from it. I went out to the garage instead.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been out to the garage, and everything was kind of weird. There’s a coat of dust over everything – tools, planters, garbage bags, shelves, welders… everything. The truck and motorcycle looked odd; sure, both of them are often dirty, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen them dusty from lack of use before. Looking at them as they sat there silently made me feel bad, so I gave them both a friendly pat and moved on to look for some tubing. I should really do some research and get a new battery for the truck. It’s not good to leave it sitting for too long. Same with the bikes. I need to add that to my “should do” list.

I found the plastic vacuum tubing that J mentioned and I think it might do the trick for my little project. I also looked through my collection of steel and took stock of what I had that might work.

I went back inside and started playing with the electronics side of things. I spent HOURS on it, with far too many interruptions where I went through the house chasing ghosts. The good news is I can make the buzzer from the smoke detector beep if I use two of the leads and a circuit that generates a pulse (I used a 555, and yes, I had to look up the pinout). The bad news is that I haven’t been able to make it work yet using the third lead and a transistor. My goal for this is to make it as simple as possible and run it off either a single 9V battery or a pair of C- or D-cells. I used to do a lot of stuff with PIC microcontrollers and some of the things I built with them would run for weeks on a 9V battery. With what I’ve got in mind, the batteries should last for even longer. That’s the idea, at least. So yeah… the whole project comes down to beeping and I haven’t been able to make it do that yet. I’ll try again tomorrow.

J and I hung around this evening and watched some more Parks and Recreation. We’re almost done the second season and it’s been very good. I’ve heard about tons of people idolizing Ron Swanson, and I can totally see why – he’s a neat character and is played very well.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr W. I haven’t seen him in two weeks and I would rather not go out there tomorrow. I don’t expect there to be any medication changes and it’s unpleasant to talk about everything going on, especially when I get to do it again (and in more detail) on Thursday. Still, it’s got to be done, and I’ll do it. But I still don’t want to.

Aside from the appointment, I think I’m going to work on that same stuff tomorrow. See if I can get the beeper to beep again. Oh, and I should probably give the kitchen a once-over, too.

So that’s about it for today. I’m pooped and will be heading to bed very shortly.

Stay safe.

I Can’t Remember How Much I’ve Forgotten

Song: “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by The Moog Cookbook

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

I woke up quite a few times last night but fortunately not from nightmares – just the normal worrying about everything and nothing at the same time. I spent far too long in bed this morning pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes and muttering empty encouragement to myself. Finally, I got up and started the day.

The weather cooperated again this morning so I opened a bunch of windows and turned on a fan to move fresh air around. I went for my walk this morning and enjoyed the smells of fresh air and cut grass while I was out.

After I got back, I went downstairs to do my exercises. They didn’t go very well, unfortunately. For whatever reason, I had a heck of a time keeping focused on what I was doing. Even with the ear defenders on, I kept thinking I was missing something and would have to get up and do a lap or two around the house. I don’t even think I actually heard anything – it was more of a “I think something’s wrong, I should go check it out” kind of thing.

I spent a lot of time thinking about DA’s stuff today, and I think I have the prototype pretty much figured out. I haven’t built anything yet, so it’s easy to say that things are going well, but things are going pretty well. One of the biggest problems I’ve had (and this has plagued several of my projects in the past) is that I can’t find a cheap, loud beeper or siren. Since the noise is integral to the project, I had to figure something out. Then it came to me – smoke detectors are plenty loud, and I have a couple of old ones sitting in a bin. I cracked one open, grabbed the beeper part, and I should have it wailing away tomorrow.

Before you start giving me the gears about the dangers of opening a smoke detector, I just want to point out that yes, it was an ionization type of detector. No, I didn’t touch or otherwise damage the sensor’s enclosure. Yes, cutting the beeper out of it was all I’m going to do with it.

One thing that occurred to me when I was thinking about this stuff was how much electronics knowledge I’ve forgotten. Some of the stuff I know I used to know, but for some of the other stuff I’m not even sure whether I ever actually knew it. I used to be able to bias a transistor like a madman, or use a couple of NAND gates to build an oscillator, or rattle off all of the TTL series chip numbers and functions faster than I could remember my postal code. But so much of it is gone. Wow. It’s been a hobby since I was five, I took it for three years in high school, and did a ton of it in college, but yeah… if someone broke into the house, woke J and me up, and demanded that I wire up a 555 or a 741 on the breadboard he’s holding, I think we’d be in trouble. Two, three, seven, and nine? No, the 741 only has eight pins. Uhm… two, three, four, and eight? Or is eight the offset null pin? I used to know all of this stuff. Ah, well. I guess it’s like the old saying – if you don’t use it, you lose it. I guess not knowing what the heck I’m doing will bring back some of the excitement of discovering things again…

Hmm, that was a long paragraph about how much I’ve forgotten about electronics. It’s not a grim situation or anything like that, though – I still have tons of books and notes and there’s always the Internet to guide me along. Plus, I enjoy tinkering!

I listened to a lot of music today, too. I haven’t listened to the Moog Cookbook for quite some time (mainly because I burnt myself out on it and J hates it) so I put some of that on and enjoyed it quite a bit. I don’t think I’m going to be able to listen to it for a week straight like I did before, but it was good. The two musicians who make up the band have a really good imagination and are amazing at using bizarre mixes of equipment, some of which is the really old analog synth kit, and some of it is stuff you wouldn’t normally think of using as a musical instrument, like a Speak & Spell. Neat stuff.

J and I watched another couple of episodes of Parks and Recreation this evening. The first season was good, but the second season is even better. Good writing, good cast, good stories… I think this is going to be another one we go back to again and again.

No appointments tomorrow (but one on Wednesday and Thursday), so I’m going to be working on that thing for DA again. It feels good to be working on something that someone will find useful again. Hopefully I can make it work!

Stay safe.

Five Hundredth Post!

Song: “Rock And Roll Party Mix” by Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 2

So… five hundred posts. Averaging out at nearly 500 words per post, that’s about 250,000 words since I started this blog back at the end of March 2017. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 17 months. I’ve had several blogs and websites in the past, stretching all the way back to the Internet’s Dark Ages in 1996, but this is the one that I’ve actively maintained and contributed to the most – by far. Like I’ve said before, this blog does two things for me. The main reason I write is because I enjoy writing and it feels good to write down what’s going on in my head or how my day was. The other reason is that I hope someone stumbles across it and finds something helpful or encouraging somewhere. There is an awful lot of bad information and “amazing cures” out there that I want people to see that everything here is just me. No bragging, no telling anybody what they have to do… just me and what I’m experiencing and seeing.

J got back from her trip today. She had a really good time and the highway was good both ways. She’s still not as comfortable on the highway as she is in the city (I grew up in the country so I’m the opposite), but things seem to go smoother pretty much every time she does a highway trip.

It is so nice to have her home. I did alright while she was away, but I missed her company and when she’s not in the house it’s painfully obvious how much more I trust her judgment than my own.

My weekend went reasonably Well. The weather was very nice (I even enjoyed the little storms that rumbled through last night and this morning) and I had the windows open all weekend.

I worked on that cabin security thing for DA. I’ve been thinking that it had to be very sturdy and heavy, like steel tubing, but J asked whether the leftover plastic piping from the central vac would work. I initially thought no because I need conductive walls inside the tube, but all I really need to do is have a small cylindrical or square metal tube. It could probably be half and inch in diameter, a couple of inches long, and fit inside one of the leftover pieces of plastic tubing. That could make it easier to make, and with a 6 foot length of 2 inch plastic tube costing $8.50 while 6 feet of 2×2 inch square tubing with 1/8 inch walls would be $23.34, so it would cost a lot less, too.

I listened to a bunch of music this weekend, too. Blasted it over the speakers from my phone while upstairs, listened to it through headphones when downstairs. I gave a couple of those new records from J’s uncle a try, too. They are in surprisingly good shape, and even the old, well-used ones are still listenable. I’m impressed.

I brought the ear defenders upstairs and got in a couple of hours of Star Trek Online over the weekend, too. I made a Klingon captain a while ago and thought I’d play around with it and have some fun. There seem to be missions that are unique to the Klingons, and it’s interesting that you get different choices on missions that Federation or Klingons can play. There seems to be a lot more talking when you’re playing the goody-goody Federation, and a lot more kidnapping and coercing and shooting when you’re playing Klingons. I like the variety.

You can also stop by the tailor and customize your character’s looks. There are some generic standard uniforms, or you can spend tons of real-world money getting a fancy belt or sunglasses or whatever. I kind of see that as a waste (although I would REALLY like the uniforms they started wearing for The Wrath of Khan). That aside, I took a look at my character and realized he kind of blended in with all the Klingons – big growling people who wear a lot of leather and actively look for fights. You know… the bruisers. Here’s a typical Klingon from the game:

Normal KlingonBig, brutish, always means business, short temper. You NEVER EVER interrupt a Klingon when they’re playing Jenga.

So I gave a lot of thought to what I wanted my character to look like. I wanted him to have humble origins, do things the way he wants to do them, and not give a crap what other people think. He also had to wear stuff that’d breathe pretty well (or at least better than nine layers of leather) because he doesn’t like the heat. He also really likes sleeping and daytime naps, so every time there’s an emergency, he is often awakened from a deep sleep and doesn’t have time to squeeze into his corset or throw on a jacket before running to the bridge to save the galaxy (again).

Tough Life KlingonSee? A little more realistic. Command is tough on a Captain, especially when you’re dirt poor, your ship is really really crappy, your officers barely know which boot goes on which foot, and anyone on your crew could decide at any time that they want to be Captain and shoot you in the back when you’re standing at a urinal, whistling something by Hank Snow. This is the reality the Captain must face…

Five hundred posts. Hopefully someone, somewhere has stumbled across my little corner of the Internet and has found something useful. I think I’m going to keep working at it – it’s been good to write all this stuff out. If you’ve been following along with my adventures, thank you very much for your time, and I hope you weren’t too bored. If there’s something near and dear to you that you’d like me to talk about, please let me know and I’d be happy to oblige.

Anyway, that’s about it. I’m fighting to keep my eyes open right now so I should really get to bed. Have a good night/morning/day/evening wherever you are!

Stay safe.

Shouldn’t Have Sat Down

Song: N/A

Mood: 5.5

Nightmares: 1

It was beautiful out yesterday – perfect weather, as far as I’m concerned. About 20C, a bit of wind, and the odd cloud here and there. I opened a bunch of windows again and enjoyed the fresh air – it even smelled good!

I went for my walk and did two laps around the block. I’m still a little physically uncomfortable when I walk but I took it easy and it went alright. The nice thing about doing laps around the block is that I can see the house a lot more, too, which makes things easier.

My exercises went reasonably well yesterday, and I was only interrupted a handful of times.

I caught myself chasing quite a few ghosts again. I did a couple of circuits of the house to make sure everything was ok and then I put in my earbuds and put on my ear defenders and turned up the music, which helped quite a bit.

I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the difference between how I think about stuff and how other people do. My conversation the other day with FA gave me another perspective to think about so I threw it into the mix, too. I still feel ripped off and jealous but at the same time, it gave me some advantages, too. They overtook everything else, but while I was able to balance everything out they could be useful.

I thought more about the security stuff for DA and figured I’d go out to the garage, look through my collection of scrap steel, and cut a piece to start on a prototype… but then I remembered the garage is a mess and the only clear space in it is currently occupied by the truck, which doesn’t have a battery. Oh well. That’s how it goes.

I sent out my round of texts and had a couple of conversations yesterday. I text quite a bit with J’s aunt. She often has something interesting or amusing to say and I enjoy chatting with her. She volunteers quite a bit and does neat things like taking people and showing them neat things around town. I think that’s great. I’d like to volunteer someday.

J headed out to visit her parents after work yesterday. Her drive went well and she had a good evening. She’s helping her mom run a charity fundraiser today – I hope it goes well. It’s raining here this morning. We really need the rain but I hope the weather stays clear for them until their fundraiser is done!

J called last night and we talked for a while. It was very good to talk to her (I already missed her a lot) and I was happy to hear that everything had gone well. We said our good nights and then hung up and I started getting ready for bed.

Unfortunately, I thought of a couple of other things I wanted to do first, and by the time I finished, my evening medications had kicked in pretty hard and it felt like I had stacks of weights hanging from my head, shoulders, fingers, and feet. I needed to brush and floss but it was so hard to move that I thought I’d just sit down on the bed for a minute or two and gather some oomph.

Well, I apparently fell backwards and zonked out HARD because I don’t remember waking up until I had a nightmare this morning at 5:22AM. The light was still on, my feet were still on the floor, I was laying on my back on the bed, and my mouth felt and tasted like the inside of an old bowling shoe. My throat was sore from snoring so much, I had a nasty headache, and my lower back felt like it was made out of rusty, crooked old nails. I groaned my way to my feet, shuffled to the bathroom, took two Tylenol, brushed and flossed my teeth (mainly by feel because I had my eyes screwed shut), and then went back to bed.

Worrying woke me up twice more but I was able to get back to sleep. I woke up around 9:45 and whined to myself about my sore throat, head, and back, and finally heaved myself out of bed around 10:15.

I’m not yet sure what I’m going to do today, but it’s going to be quiet, slow, and interrupted occasionally by a dose of Tylenol.

Stay safe.

Chasing Lots Of Ghosts Today

Song: “Flowers On The Wall” by The Statler Brothers

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 2

Just a real quick post tonight. The day went alright but I didn’t sleep great again last night and I’m pretty tired.

Had a good conversation with my mom today. It sounds like my folks have been keeping pretty busy lately.

Sent out my texts and had a couple of conversations.

Did a lot of figuring about the security stuff for DA. Made quite a bit of progress. I have a plan for something that just needs a couple of electronic components; unfortunately, they are not among the several zillion that I already have. No problem – the prototype will just use more power. It’s been good to work on this stuff.

Not sure if it’s because I’m tired or because I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, but I spent a lot of time today wandering around the house, chasing things down. Nothing in particular was haunting me, I just had a lot of trouble ignoring all of the unimportant things. It was really nice out so I had the windows open so that probably didn’t help things.

J is heading out of town tomorrow to help her mom with some charity event this weekend. I will miss her tremendously but she’ll only be a couple of hours away and we will keep in touch by text and video chat. I hope she has a good time and the event doesn’t take up the whole day so she can have a great time chatting with her folks and catching up on the family gossip. I have no firm plans for the weekend yet but I think I’m going to try cobbling together that thing for DA to see if it’s worth pursuing.

Lots more to write about but it’s really time for bed.

Stay safe.