One Of Those Days…

Song: “Little Arrows” by Leapy Lee

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Horde

We got a decent amount of snow last night. Oddly, I think I slept pretty well – I can only remember waking up three times to worry about things. This morning, though, I felt like I was 419 years old. Slow to move, slow to think, and astonishingly prone to bumping into things or dropping stuff.

Lots of people were out today shovelling or blowing out their driveways today, and for whatever reason, the sounds were really getting to me. Even the normal sounds inside the house, like the cereal settling in the box or the plastic bag rustling a bit were enough to give me a jolt. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t turn it down today for some reason.

I also spent a lot of time thinking about that person I wrote about yesterday. I’m trying to not let it get to me but I really strongly feel like I should be doing something about him – I just don’t know what. When I talked to J about it, she had some good suggestions. She also mentioned that her dad is one of the adherents of the “universe takes care of things” attitude. I usually agree with that but I’ve seen this person (just to be clear, I’m talking about the dirtbag right now) weasel out of so many situations he caused over the years, and the thought of him getting away with some of the other stuff makes me… angry? I’m not sure if that’s the right word. I haven’t really been able to get angry for over three years now.

I should really stop thinking about this stuff. Maybe I will ask Dr C about it when I see her this week.

Between my clumsiness, the fact that I was jumping like a caffeinated rabbit at everything, and the stuff I was stewing over, I spent a lot of the day clenching my jaw, which led to a nasty headache in the afternoon. I used to have headaches every single day at work, and often on the weekends too. I don’t like taking tylenol if I can help it because some of the other stuff I’m taking is tough on the old liver, but after a particular point it doesn’t make sense to deal with it anymore, so I grab one or two to hopefully knock the headache back a bit.

J called while I was getting ready to head out and clear the driveway today. She was just calling from work to say hello and chat for a couple of minutes, which I enjoyed. It was very good to talk to her, and it had the advantage of giving me a reason to procrastinate going out to clear the driveway.

The snowblower started up great and ran like a champ today but I swear, some days it’s like it has a mind of its own and I have to fight with it just to keep it moving in a straight line. When I finished, I was sweaty and hot, so I put everything away and closed the garage door and leaned against the fence with my eyes closed, trying very hard to enjoy the fresh air for a couple of minutes before I went back inside. I still don’t like being out, particularly when I can’t see the front door, but I’m definitely getting more used to being outside in the driveway and stuff like that.

I moved the filament spool holder for the 3D printer today. Instead of being bolted to the control box, it’s now way off to the left. This looks a little more awkward but I think it will actually end up being easier on everything – now that there’s a little bit of slack in the system, the filament won’t jump off the spool when the extruder backs the filament up, and the angle of the filament off the spool won’t be as severe like it is now when the Z arm is either very low or very high. I have also moved the printer back toward the wall a little more and the controller closer to the printer so the cables will have more slack than they do now. Of course, I was having the same clumsy issues this afternoon, so something that should’ve taken, say, 15 minutes took close to an hour, had me broken out in a serious flop sweat, and I was running in circles, trying to figure out where the screws or drillbit or any number of other things had gone or why they wouldn’t fit.

All in all, a frustrating and kind of rough day. Things got so much better after J got home, but we didn’t get a chance to sit down and watch some TV like we usually do. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but we’re currently on The Good Place, which has been pretty great so far. My favourite characters are definitely Janet and Michael. That sounds familiar… I think I did write about this before. Oh well.

Hopefully tomorrow will be an easier day with less noises, less anxiety, less brooding, less head aching, and more enjoyable productivity.

Stay safe.

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