Not Much Longer, I Think

Today was another good day. I went to bed last night at about 11 but was so excited about concentrating on reading that it was after midnight before I fell asleep. I woke up a little tired so I set a timer and took a short nap after breakfast and before morning group started.

Group this morning was about how our weekend went and what we wanted to do this week to help us along in our recovery. I felt a little silly but I said I was really happy about being able to read again. Nobody gave me a weird look or anything, which I really appreciated.

After group was done, I went back to the book and was really happy to see I hadn’t lost my newfound concentration overnight. I finished it early in the afternoon. About 340 pages in total. Not too shabby. And it was a good book, too.

I overheard one of the other residents talking about how they were getting out shortly and needed to get a place to live, a job, and a bunch of other things that I just take for granted. It made me sad to know that there are people out there who have absolutely nothing that they don’t make themselves. I’m so lucky to be where I am and to have the support system I have… I don’t know how to put this properly into words but when I’m better I would really like to learn if there are any ways I can help people in those situations.

Group this afternoon was very interesting and was about what to do in your life when things don’t go to plan and about the concept of post-traumatic growth. It gave me a lot to think about and I think I’m going to do some research into it and discuss it with Dr C once I’m out.

My meeting with Dr W this afternoon went very well. No medication adjustments this time, and he sounds confident that I’ll be out this week. I also now have a two-day pass starting tomorrow! When I got here less than a week ago I had a person watching me do everything – eat, sleep, move around, everything, I’m now at the point where I can go home to visit and may actually be discharged this week!

In other happy news, J and my mother-in-law stopped by this evening! We talked in the cafeteria for almost two hours and I had a great time. It was so good to see family and have a chance to hear about how things in the outside world were going. I really miss J and being at home.

As J and my mother-in-law were leaving, I came across a former resident sitting in one of the chairs downstairs. Turns out they’ve got most of their medical and mental issues under control and they’re going to be released shortly. I wished them a genuine good luck and best wishes and then headed into the Sanctuary to do some meditating.

As I was in there, the former resident walked into the Sanctuary too and sat down, After a few minutes, they went to leave and, as they passed me, they put their hand on my shoulder and whispered that God would look after me.

Now, this is someone who the Universe has dealt a really crappy hand. And I do mean a really awful one. This person has nothing other than problems but still faces the world with their chin up and their beliefs intact. I can’t imagine dealing with half of the things they do.

As they left the Sanctuary, emotions welled up and I started to cry. I felt terrible for the person but also very happy that they seemed so content with how things were going. I really, really hope things go well.

So despite a couple of little emotional ups and downs, today has been a good day. And tomorrow I get to go home for two days!

Stay safe!

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