I used to be able to juggle several tasks at once and remember tiny details about things. Since I got sick, however, I have been having a lot of trouble remembering things. I lose my phone all over the house, I have to stare at the calendar to make sure that I make it to my appointments, and I have to set a rigid schedule to take my pills or I will forget. If I’m out at an appointment, I only remember the appointment and none of the things I had also planned to do, like pick something up on the way home. Sometimes I’ll set an alarm on my phone but if I don’t label it, I can forget what the alarm was for.
Thoughts that strike me as important disappear quickly, leaving nothing but a sense of urgency behind. That’s bad enough, but my anxiety and OCD really don’t play well with the thought that I’ve forgotten something. I end up stuck in a panic attack if that feeling of urgency is too strong and I can’t remember what it was or put it out of my head.
I’m not sure why this is happening. The medication I’m taking may be part of it but I was having memory and concentration problems before I met Dr C or Dr W. It shouldn’t be a sleep thing – nightmares aside, I’m sleeping better now than I have in years. It could be related to my depression.
My concentration has improved to the point where I can often read an entire article or make a good dent in a book but my memory doesn’t seem to be getting better at anywhere near the same rate. I worry that I am repeating myself when talking to people or that I’ve been told something important but can’t remember.
I think in a few months I’ll write another post about this stuff, just to see if things have changed. Hopefully I won’t be forgetting much by then!