Song: “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash
I woke up to nightmares twice last night, but otherwise had a pretty good sleep. I’ve been very fortunate lately that my nightmares haven’t been immediately followed by panic attacks. That means I’m awake for 15-30 minutes instead of an hour or two.
I’m still not feeling great but I did some mindfulness exercises and I think it helped a bit. I’m still grappling with thoughts about work, insurance, the changes to the medical system that are going on, my family and friends, and who I want to be. I don’t feel like I’m making a lot of progress and I’m putting pressure on myself to figure everything out sooner rather than later.
Argh… the insurance company in particular. J stopped by the pharmacy on her way home from work to pick up my prescription refill and found out that my prescriptions have been audited by the insurance company to make sure I wasn’t getting more than I needed. I understand their need to keep on top of things like fraud, and they’re the ones paying so I suppose they have the right to look into things, but knowing that they’re poking around makes me uncomfortable. I keep expecting the phone call that says, “Mark, we’re cancelling your insurance. Have a great day.”
I attacked the giant pile of dirty laundry today and made some headway, then spent some time looking through the microscope at some algae that J found in the fish tank.
My parents called this afternoon and we had a short but nice chat. It’s always good when they call out of the blue, they are very good at listening to my problems and cheering me up.
I still haven’t done the homework that Dr P gave me last Thursday. I don’t know if I’m going to get to it because I’m still finding it quite difficult to get up and do things, but maybe tomorrow I’ll find the oomph somewhere to get them done.
I have my Dr W appointment tomorrow. We had started to space them out to every two weeks, but with how I’ve been feeling lately it seemed prudent to go back to once a week. The good thing is that I’m definitely feeling better than I did last Wednesday.