Motivation Lagging A Bit

Song: “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham!

Mood: 7

Nightmares: three or four over the last week

Ghosts: Several

I haven’t been posting a lot lately. There’s nothing wrong, I just can’t seem to get the oomph together to focus and write things out. I’m running a little low on motivation, too, but otherwise I think I’m doing okay.

For some reason that I haven’t figured out yet, I’ve fallen asleep at the dining room table the last few nights. It’s not like when I fall asleep on the couch – I’m not asleep for very long – so I don’t end up with a nasty headache or sore throat from snoring. I’m a little worried that one of these days I’m going to drool on my keyboard and short something out.

Lots of stuff has happened over the last couple of weeks, so you know what that means… bullet points!

  • FA and I got together for a truly epic twelve-hour geek-out session. I think I sprained something in my head – my brain didn’t work properly for two days, but we got a lot done accomplished and I had a very good time.
  • Hospitals around here are starting to open for non-essential surgeries again, and it looks like I’m going to be getting that numbness in one of my hands fixed in a little over a week! Fingers crossed that when the surgeon pokes around inside he sees it’s a quick fix instead of having to move nerves all over the place. They want me to self-isolate until my surgery so I’m less likely to carry any kinds of germs into the hospital when I go. I’m very excited to get this done!
  • I’ve been doing some printing, some sewing, some cleaning, and a lot of puttering with electronics.
  • J gave me a hand cleaning up the laboratory and I have a workbench again! I had to go downstairs and fix something and wow, was it ever nice going into a room where the bench is clear and everything is in the right spot. Thanks sweetie!
  • Had another appointment with the dietician. The protein that I’m adding to my breakfasts has made a noticeable difference to how I feel throughout the day. I’m still not getting hungry, but you know that sick, shaky feeling you get when you’ve waited too long to eat? Instead of that showing up suddenly, I can feel it coming for a while and can do something about it before I feel gross. I’m also eating apples, and enjoying a small amount of peanuts in the afternoon as a snack.
  • J and I have been playing more Stardew Valley and watching 30 Rock together. We spend a lot of time talking (especially when playing SV), and it’s a very pleasant, relaxing way to spend time together.
  • We’ve also been spending time sitting outside in the afternoons, enjoying the fresh air and watching the rabbits, squirrels, and birds go about their business.
  • We planted the garden last weekend. We’re only putting in potatoes this year because we like potatoes and they overran everything else in the garden last year.
  • Had a bad panic attack a few nights ago while I was getting ready for bed… didn’t get to sleep until after 4 that night.

I know I’m forgetting a lot of stuff, but this is what’s floating around in my head right now. Because of the surgery I’m not supposed to go out wandering around but that’s not a problem. I’ve got a ton of things I can do around here.

I have a video appointment with Dr C tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it because I haven’t really made any progress on… well, pretty much any of my homework over the last two weeks. It’s another one of those things that have been tough to drum up motivation for.

Stay safe.

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