Looks Like Autumn Outside Today

Song: “Hide Away” by Freddie King

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 3+

I’m not sure what made last night different, but I had some pretty bad dreams and nightmares that woke me up. They’re still about the same things that have been bothering me all along, and this time it was the people floating in the water. I shouldn’t complain because it’s been quite a while since my last night I had a nightmare was March 29th, but Jeebus I hate getting them. They wreck my sleep and mess up the following day.

Because of the nightmares and poor sleep, I was more anxious and on edge than usual. My exercises went very poorly and I ended up giving up after about half an hour of twitching and worrying about every car that went by, every sound from outside, every puff of wind hitting the house, every tick and creak that the house makes… you get the idea.

I think the raw spot on my hand is getting infected. Took off the bandage and saw an oddly coloured collection of various types of goo. I’m kind of kicking myself now for not taking a swab of it and looking at it under the microscope, but unfortunately, the thought never occurred to me at the time. Sprayed the whole area with isopropyl alcohol and then dug into it with alcohol-soaked cotton swabs. Once it was all cleaned up (and I stopped whimpering), I covered it with some antibacterial ointment and put another bandage on. I expect it will be much better tomorrow.

It was cold outside today. I went for my walk around 11AM and wore my fancy red mid-weight jacket and cap. I stuck to my regular route and walked even faster than normal, I think. With the trees still bare and lots of grass still brown, it really felt like it was fall and winter was on its way.

I did my exposure exercises with the toaster today. It didn’t go as well as I had hoped – I couldn’t keep myself from going back into the kitchen and checking the toaster (and the dishwasher, and the garage door). Plus, I kept scuttling around the house checking things every few minutes. My anxiety ratcheted up bit by bit until all I was thinking about was the stupid toaster and whether it was unplugged. I don’t even know why I’m so worried about it – I’m sure there are millions (if not billions) of people who leave their toasters plugged in when they’re not using them and civilization hasn’t burned to the ground yet.

I worked on more DVD stuff today. We have a lot of DVDs, a fair amount of Blu-Rays, and some packages came with both. I don’t bother to include the “digital copy” because I don’t want to have to use specific software or have an account to watch the movies J and I own. Say what you will, but being old school has worked for me so far.

I texted with a couple of people today. My mother-in-law seems to be enjoying her new phone so far, which makes me happy. She got an incredible deal on a mobile plan, too!

I did something weird to my stomach today. Don’t ask – I have no idea – but I must’ve moved funny or stretched something. If I’m sitting still I don’t really notice it, but when I get up and move around, hoo boy, it reminds me quite vividly that I did something stupid. Oh well. I’ll just walk funny for a couple of days and then I’ll be fine.

The company that the city has hired to do the garbage, recycling, and yard waste collection has been doing an excellent job – so much better than the company with the previous contract. They’re on time, they don’t leave garbage on the lawn or street, and they just act more professional than the old company. I’m seriously considering calling the Waste Department at the city to make a compliment. They’re probably so used to getting complaints that I’ll totally freak them out.

Now that I’m literally talking about garbage, it’s probably time for me to get to bed. Hopefully, last night will turn out to be an outlier and not an indication that something’s coming.

Stay safe.

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