In The Hospital, Day 5

Things are continuing to look up. I slept well again last night, my mind isn’t playing any tricks on me, and today has gone quite well.

The novelty of being in the hospital has worn off, though. I’d really rather be home at this point. I don’t feel like I’d do anything bad, and I’d enjoy a few hours in front of the record player right now.

Groups today were good. Morning group was about spirituality and the afternoon was about Canada since Canada’s 150th birthday is approaching.

I had a telephone meeting with Dr C at noon today. We mostly focused on what led me to this particular stint in the hospital. When I think back on it, I find it difficult to accept how badly I felt at the time even though it was less than a week ago. So many things have changed; so many other things have stayed the same.

Am I “better”? No, not by a long shot… but I’m definitely headed in the right direction. When I spoke with Dr W today, he predicted that I wouldn’t be in the hospital for very much longer. That would make this stay the shortest by far. J is fond of saying that I need to shake things around and see what falls out next and I think she’s got something there. Each time I’ve been here it’s been because of a different trigger, which then gets worked on until I can handle it for the most part by myself. That leaves one less thing that can creep up on me and kick me when I’m down.

Tomorrow we’re changing the sertraline and venlafaxine dosages again. I’m really hoping that I experience few or no side effects from either withdrawing from the sertraline or adding the venlafaxine. I’ve been extremely lucky so far and haven’t run into any show-stopping side effects.

This afternoon, FA stopped by and we visited for about an hour and a half. We went outside and sat in the hospital garden area and had a really good talk. I really appreciate the time she takes out of her schedule to come and visit. The hospital is pretty much on the other side of the city from her house so it’s not a trivial amount of time and effort for her to get here. I know I’ve said it before, but she’s a really good friend!

This evening, J and I had another video chat. A phone call is good but a video chat is so much better. I miss her an awful lot and any way to feel closer to her helps. It’s because of her that I’ve made it to the hospital instead of ending up someplace worse. I’m really looking forward to her next visit!

This weekend is a long weekend, so here on the ward it’s going to be a LONG weekend. I got my gym pass today and I am allowed off the ward for an hour at a time so I think I’ll be spending some time walking the track and listening to music.

Stay safe!

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