Very quick post – I’m tired and I’m feeling kind of rough and I think that going to bed (assuming I can fall asleep) will be the best thing for me.
I slept not too badly last night. Woke up worrying a few times but it really wasn’t too bad.
My exercises didn’t go very well, I got up quite a few times to chase ghosts.
I was feeling not too bad this morning and early in the afternoon. I talked to my parents and they’re doing well, I got out for my walk, and things were going along.
I used to visit tons of websites – news, tech, IT, science, gaming… all kinds of stuff. Since I ended up in the hospital two years ago, I almost removed myself from the Internet. I now visit only a handful of sites every day and I do my best to avoid triggers by avoiding reading/watching/hearing the news. Every evening after she gets home from work, J reads me a couple of stories that are usually weird or amusing, but that’s about it.
Unfortunately, sometimes news “leaks” into the sites I visit, usually because it’s significant event or because it’s something that everybody is going to talk about anyway. That happened today, and I made the mistake of reading the article and watching the video that was embedded in it. It’s my own fault – I should’ve stayed away from it – but it really upset me. I do not understand how, in 2018 and in a wealthy country, some things that are so bad can happen. Saying “can happen” makes it sound like some kind of mistake or accident, but the worst part about it is that it is a series of horrible actions that people are doing to other people ON PURPOSE while claiming the moral high ground. I don’t want to get into it any further because it’s really bothering me a great deal and I’m hoping to be able to get some sleep tonight. Maybe I’ll write about it tomorrow or something. I don’t know.