Song: N/A
Mood: 5.5
Nightmares: 0
I don’t know why I keep waking up. There’s no noise, nothing’s going on, I just wake up for no reason. I’m happy it’s not because of nightmares but I’m really starting to feel wrung out. Maybe it’s the change in seasons. Maybe Mars is at a particular point in its orbit. I don’t know.
I had trouble with my exercises today. Couldn’t focus and had to fight to keep from dozing off a bunch of times.
I didn’t accomplish much today. J was home and it was great to talk with her but I didn’t even move around all that much. That’s not so good.
My Dr P appointment was difficult again. Leaving the house makes me so uncomfortable, and I was talking to him about work, and that brings back a whole bunch of horrible memories and feelings. Sometimes I wonder why I’m paying someone so I can leave the house and make myself miserable, but I know it has made a tremendous positive impact on me and my recovery. Just need to keep that in mind.
I was feeling pretty rough and when J picked me up from my appointment, she asked if I wanted to do the blood tests today or go another day. I had no desire to leave the house again tomorrow so I took a PRN and said I just wanted to get it over with.
We got to the clinic and the parking lot was packed. That didn’t bode well. We went downstairs to the lab and… it was empty. I’ve been there quite a few times but I’ve never seen it like that before. Usually it’s like that waiting room scene in Beetlejuice. I gave them my information, sat down for 150 seconds, and then I got called over to the booth so the exsanguination could begin. I got a good tech, too – didn’t even feel the poke.
Once we got home, I headed downstairs to the couch in the basement. I’d been tired before I went out, and the therapy session had left me pretty drained. I just wanted to sit and close my eyes for a bit. Fortunately, J came downstairs too and we had a good long talk. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – everything is better when she’s around.
J made supper – homemade macaroni and cheese – and it was wonderful. Very comfort food-ish. Then I headed back to the couch and read more about proteins and peroxisomes and various other tiny-ish things.
J mentioned today that since I ended up in the hospital the first time, this has been the longest stretch of time I’ve been away from the hospital (my last discharge was June 26th). That’s pretty good.
I sent a text to the radio station requesting a song three hours ago but they haven’t played it yet.
I’m feeling pretty crappy today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Stay safe.