Song: “The Other Man’s Grass (Is Always Greener)” by Petula Clark (heard it for the first time today, the bass line near the end is AMAZING)
I slept alright last night. Only woke up a few times – not too bad. Spent less time rubbing my face and swearing before I crawled out of bed than usual.
When I went to make breakfast, I spent more time swearing in the kitchen than usual. There was a not-insignificant puddle of water in front of the dishwasher. It doesn’t seem to be coming from the usual suspects, and the underside of the dishwasher is dry. I wiped it up, put some paper towels under the door, wiped down the seals, and ran another load of dirty dishes. Not a drop fell on the towel. I think I’ll run it twice more and if it doesn’t leak I’ll button things back up and try not to worry about it. A good thing is that I already check the dishwasher as part of my nighttime process.
Sent out my daily texts and had a couple of good conversations. I took the plunge and decided to introduce J’s aunt to some upbeat punk music. I don’t think she’s made it through it yet. Maybe she’s just waiting a polite amount of time to tell me it’s terrible. Who knows. I hope she likes it, though!
I finished off those beanbags I started last week. Filled them up with rice and closed the spot that I had left open earlier. They’re a little small but I think they look okay. I ran the numbers, and six of them cost about $1.26. Of course, my time is worth $382.50/hr, but I’m doing this pro bono.
I spent more time working on figuring out what the stitches on my machine are for, and working out the dimensions for the bags that I want to make. I want them to be large enough and shaped the right way to be useful, while taking as little material as possible.
Had my Dr W appointment this afternoon. It started to snow around noonish here and by the time J got home to pick me up, the roads were getting a little gummy and most people had fallen into the “first real snow of the winter and I can’t remember last year” mode so it was a little nervous-making. We got to the appointment with no problems and I had my chat with Dr W. He was a little different today than usual – he didn’t seem as happy as usual. Maybe a little terse. But everyone’s allowed to have a down day. The main thing he got across was that he wanted to make sure that Dr C and I were working on the list of things that bothers me. We are – we’re just tackling several targets at once by making me go outside and do things.
I showed him the beanbags I made and asked him if he thought they’d be okay on the ward. He said yes and will speak with the Recreation Therapist about them. I found out that the Occupational Therapist that worked with me so many times retired a little while ago and moved away to be with her kids and grandkids. I wish her all the best, she was a fantastic example of a good person, and she genuinely, truly cared for the people she was working with. I hope she has a fantastic retirement.
Dr W also brought up physical activity. With winter here, I’m a lot less likely to go for a walk on the days I don’t feel like it, but I need to keep moving. The quetiapine I’m taking is known for causing weight gain, and I’m on a high dose. Dr W would like to see me move to a lower dose, which sounds great by me. I need to do a lot of work before we can change the dosage, though. He asked me what I thought about that and I responded by telling him that I currently weight 90lbs more than I did when I first met him, and if I could lower the medications that contribute to that, that would be great.
I’ve been thinking more about it, though, and I’m not sure how I feel. I take the quetiapine as part of my evening medications, and I really, REALLY don’t want to mess with my sleep. I’m not getting enough as it is, and I don’t want to risk days or weeks of laying in bed with my eyes wide open and having the sweats and the shakes. I also worry about the effect that reducing the quetiapine may have on the stuff I used to hear. My mind is already more than loud enough; being told I’m useless and a terrible person and dragging everyone down and getting demands about where the #%$& my DR plan is is bad enough. Not being able to deal with it or reason with it or run away from it is horrible. Really horrible. Dr W is a very good psychiatrist, though, so it’s not like he’s going to make me go cold turkey, but we tried lowering the zopiclone once and that didn’t go so well. I need to think about this and get comfortable with the idea.
No news on that 3D printer. I’ve got to admit, I’m very interested…
Tomorrow I plan to finalize the bag plans and build a prototype. If it works out, then I’ll crank out as many as I can with the material I have. Then I’ll probably go back to towels. Or maybe mittens. I’m not sure.