Feeling Better Bit By Bit

Song: “I believe I can fly” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Mood: 6.5

This past long weekend was pretty much a write-off for me. I spent far too much time in bed or on the couch and didn’t accomplish much of anything other than changing a light bulb. J kept checking in on me to make sure I was okay (thank you!) but I was just really lacking the oomph to get moving.

Other than my lack of motivation, the weekend went pretty well. I started to feel like another down was coming Sunday evening but it didn’t materialize, which I am very grateful for.

Today has been an okay day. I got up, had breakfast, did my exercises, and spent quite a bit of time reading the book that Dr P let me borrow. I also gave my folks a call and we had a good chat. I tried to get in touch with WG but he’s really busy so I couldn’t get ahold of him. I’ll try again tomorrow. It’s been a while since we got together and went record shopping.

I’m still trying to think through the “who I want to be” problem. Fortunately, I’m in a place right now where it isn’t as distressing to think about as it sometimes is. One of these days I’ll figure it out. I hope.

I’m also thinking about what I want to do with this blog. I find that using it as a journal and a thinking space feels quite therapeutic, but is there more I could/should be doing with it? I’m not sure. If anyone out there has an idea, please feel free to let me know.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr W. I don’t know if we’re going to do any medication changes but if we lower something, that would be great. If things go well (and I have no reason to think they won’t), we may switch the frequency of the appointments to every two weeks, too. He’s very good about me calling between appointments if I’m in trouble or have questions. I’m very lucky to have him as my psychiatrist.

I’m not sure what else I’m going to do tomorrow. It’s relatively nice out for this time of year so I should really get outside and start getting things ready for winter. Winterizing the motorcycle will probably make me a little sad – that happens every year. Getting the snowblower ready before the snow starts falling is probably a good idea too. Maybe I’ll go for a walk.

Stay safe.

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