Everything Went Well

Song: “I Can See For Miles” by Lord Sitar

Mood: 5.5

Nightmares: 0

After a final check of all of her stuff, J declared that she was ready for her trip. We hung out for a while and watched some Arrested Development before heading to bed. It took me a while to get to sleep, but I slept better than I expected – I only remember waking up three times. It took me a little longer to get back to sleep because I was worrying about J and her trip in addition to the normal stuff, but seeing that she was comfortable enough to sleep helped me relax.

We both set alarms, and they both went off at 4:15AM. J got up immediately and started getting ready. It took me a minute or two to figure out who (or maybe what) I was, but then I got up and floated around the house, trying to be helpful and trying to not get in J’s way.

J has a million wonderful qualities. One of them is her ability to be organized. She’s always jotting down lists, thinking about how better to set up or arrange things, and can remember all kinds of details about rules or processes or things that need to be done. Not only that, but she is really good at doing that stuff not just on paper, but in real life, too. Because of this, she was ready in… I don’t know, maybe ten minutes? I was still kind of stumbling around so I’m not sure, but we actually had time to sit down and chat for a while before the phone rang, letting us know the cab was outside.

One last hug and she was out the door and on her way to the airport. As soon as I couldn’t see the car anymore, I started to worry. I wandered around the house for a while, marvelling at how quiet things are at 5AM and carrying my cellphone in one hand and one of the cordless landline handsets in the other, just in case J needed something or was trying to get ahold of me.

After an hour and a half or so, the feeling of how ridiculous I was being exceeded how worried I was. I went to my comfy spot on the basement couch, put in my earbuds and put on my ear defenders, and did some mindfulness exercises. About half an hour later, I went back upstairs, got into bed, and managed to get another hour or so of sleep.

After I woke up, I checked the phones, did a quick circuit of the house, and then went through my morning routine. My exercises went much better than I expected them to, and I was feeling much more alert and less dumb than earlier. I turned on some music, sat down, and did some writing. Every once in a while I would make sure I hadn’t missed a text or call, but otherwise I was pretty relaxed and could focus on what I was doing.

At around 10AM I got some texts from J. The first leg of her trip had gone much better than she’d expected and she was doing well and at the gate to catch her next flight. I was happy and relieved that everything had gone so well. Like I said earlier, J is amazing at organizing things, but if anybody could throw a wrench into things, it’d be an airline. Fortunately, everything went really well. We texted for a bit and then she caught her second flight.

I went back to writing for a while but then I started chasing ghosts again. Music both helps and hinders me when it comes to sounds around the house. It covers up a lot of the quieter sounds so I don’t even notice them, but it makes the louder ones more difficult to identify or place so it’s more likely I’ll have to get up and try to figure out what it was I heard. Sometimes I’ll get frustrated and have to turn the music off for a bit, while other times I’ll get frustrated and turn it up. Today was a “turn it up” day.

I had an early lunch – yogurt with Raisin Bran in it. Don’t laugh until you try it – it’s pretty great. If you leave it for a couple of minutes before eating it, the flakes get soggy and more delicious.

My mom called a little while later and we had a good chat, taking about all kinds of stuff. It was good to talk to her, and I felt a little more relaxed after we gossiped and shared stories. I think I will give my folks a call tomorrow – can’t hurt to interact with other human beings, right?

This afternoon, I puttered around the house and watched a couple of my favourite episodes of Community. I spent some time thinking about DA’s cabin security issues and jotting ideas down. I thought about making some cookies but I was feeling weak and realized that if I made two dozen cookies, I was probably going to eat two dozen cookies – quite possibly before they’d cooled. Maybe I’ll make some later in the week, right after a meal so I’m not as tempted to gorge myself on them.

I tried playing some Star Trek but wasn’t having a lot of luck, even with headphones on and music blaring in the background. I went downstairs, grabbed my ear defenders, and swapped out my headphones for earbuds and turned off the music. Still not good enough, but after I closed the front blinds, I was in business and played for a good 30 minutes before I got interrupted, then played for another 45 minutes or so. I feel a little dorky sitting in the dining room with big yellow earmuffs on and the blinds shut, but I don’t care – it works.

I was going to have butter chicken for supper but changed my mind at the last minute and made ham and perogies. It wasn’t too bad, and a little while after I finished eating, I got a text from J saying that she was at her hotel and all was well.

An hour or so later, she texted again and asked if I wanted to do a video chat. I certainly did, and it was wonderful to see her and talk to her. She was comfortable but tired. Everything had exceeded her expectations – the cab, the flights, meeting her co-worker at the airport and getting a ride to the hotel, and the hotel itself. We talked for quite a while and it was great. It was like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. Texting is one thing, but being able to see and talk to someone is so much better.

After we hung up, I sent out another round of texts to let everyone know that J was doing great, and texted with people for a little while.

Then it was back to thinking about DA’s cabin. I know that DA is a big boy and is responsible for all of his own stuff, but it’s an interesting thought exercise. DA and I used to work out this kind of stuff together on our whiteboards during our breaks at work. I miss doing that so it’s nice to be sharing ideas over email and text.

The rest of my evening went pretty well, and right now I’m doing alright and am just about ready for bed. I think I’m going to drag out my colouring stuff and do some of that for a little while before I turn off the light. With luck, I’ll get a decent sleep. I hope J does too.

Stay safe.

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