ERP And An Appointment

Song: “Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

No nightmares again last night, and I don’t even remember having any dreams – good or bad. I’m really starting to appreciate not waking up panicking during the night.

My exercises went reasonably well today. For whatever reason I’m still jumpy but it only bothered me a couple of times.

I had time to do two rounds of ERP with the garage door today, and both were successful, which was a pleasant surprise. I also stayed out of the kitchen as much as I could so I wasn’t tempted to look through the curtain and check.

By early afternoon I was already starting to dread having to go to my appointment. I did some reading to try and keep from thinking about it. J got home (which made me feel better), and then we left for my appointment (which made me feel worse).

My appointment with Dr P today was difficult again. I’m trying very hard to pay attention and absorb the things we’re working on but it’s very hard to keep focussed when my mind keeps going back to what’s happening at home and all I want to do is get back to the house. He did say that I don’t have to spend my time doing ERP completely focussed on it, but find a balance between that and being so distracted that I don’t notice it anymore. I’m glad about that – it was pretty uncomfortable sitting there for an hour and a half, stewing over whether the garage door was open or not.

I’m also supposed to keep walking around outside. Standing in the garage is much less uncomfortable for me than walking to a point where I can’t see the house, so I need to challenge myself by doing more walks and spending less time in the garage. It’s not a big time commitment but it’s still pretty unpleasant.

Other than the ERP and my appointment, I had a little bit of time to play with the quadcopter. I didn’t make any progress but it was a good distraction. I figure that new motor should be here in a week or two.

This evening my parents called and we had a good chat. Mom recently had some hand surgery and got the stitches out a couple of days ago but it still looks (and feels) pretty gnarly. I’m glad she got it done, though – better to take care of that stuff earlier instead of waiting.

A letter came from the insurance company today. I couldn’t make myself open it so I left it for J to take a look at. Fortunately, it’s just tax documents. I can handle that.

Stay safe.

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