Kept Busy Today

Song: “Ballroom Blitz” by Sweet

Mood: 6.5

I slept pretty well last night. Woke up a couple of times but only once was because of a nightmare. I woke up after J had left for work and had breakfast.

Around 10:30 I got a call from WG saying that he was buried at work and couldn’t get together today. It was a bit of a bummer – I was really looking forward to hanging out – but that’s okay. We’re still on for going to the record store on Monday. He has the day off, too, so hopefully I may be able to buy him lunch. I really appreciate him taking the time to meet me or pick me up so we can hang out, and it would be nice to be able to buy him lunch.

So instead of going out, I decided to keep myself busy. I did some writing in the morning, did my exercises, and in the afternoon I mowed the front lawn and did some welding. Those new 7018AC rods work great! They leave a nice, consistent, shiny bead, and make me look like I’m much better at welding than I am. The welding jacket that J got me for Christmas works really well at shielding from heat as well as sparks, too.

I got some more good news today. I got a call from my mom saying that my uncle is doing very well and may be discharged tomorrow, and I got a call from J saying that her meeting today went very well and it looks like she’s in line for a promotion!

J is thinking of going to her parents’ place for two nights over the coming weekend. That will be the longest that I’ve been by myself since I last got out of the hospital. I don’t foresee any problems and am looking forward to seeing how things go. The good thing is J is just a phone call away, and so is the Crisis Centre (if things go bad). Like I said, I don’t expect any problems. I’m already putting together a list of things that I want to do.

I’m still feeling anxious today but it’s much better than it was yesterday, most likely because of the good news about J and my uncle.

Stay safe!

Still Anxious

Song: “Sweet Emotion” by Aerosmith

Mood: 5

My anxiety from earlier today is still bothering me. I slept quite well last night, with no nightmares that I can remember, but woke up feeling anxious. The good news is that I’ve talked to my mom and she has heard more good news about my uncle, but I don’t think I’ll be able to completely relax about it until after he’s home and back to his regular routine.

J has her meeting tomorrow morning so it’s not too much longer until we find out about that. She’s expecting it to be good news (and I am, too) but there’s a little part of my brain that’s yelling CAUTIONCAUTIONCAUTION and I can’t ignore it.

My Dr W appointment went quite well today. Since we’re not changing my medication around right now we’ve gone to an appointment every two weeks, with the option of calling him at any point and getting in to see him earlier if needed. I told him about the things that were bothering me today and he said that normal people get nervous about that kind of stuff, and if I wasn’t nervous at all it would probably be a bigger problem.

I’m still thinking about work, too. I wish I could stop, even just for a day.

WG and I are supposed to get together tomorrow morning. It will be really good to see him again. I think we’re going to check out another thrift store to see if there are any records worth buying. It’ll also be nice to chat, too – he always has interesting stories to tell.

I hope that I have another good sleep tonight and get lots of good news tomorrow. That should help me kick this anxiety.

Stay safe!

Very Anxious Today

I’m really anxious today. I think part of it has to do with my uncle’s surgery and recovery, and part of it is about J’s job. She’s got a meeting tomorrow with the head honchos and I hope it’ll be good news but I’m not sure. Around two years ago, there was a major bloodletting at the office, with half the people being walked out of the building so I don’t exactly trust her managers. She’s very good at her job, though, so I’m sure it’ll be good news.

That doesn’t keep me from worrying, though.

I have an appointment with Dr W this afternoon so I’ll be able to tell him about it then. My first appointment with Dr P is scheduled for next Wednesday.

Stay safe!

The Week Is Moving Along

Song: “On The Road Again” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Mood: 6

The week has gone pretty well so far. I heard this afternoon that my uncle had some scheduled surgery and it went well, which was fantastic to hear. He’s already been through a lot but he’s a very positive person and I think that helps.

I didn’t get together with WG on Monday. My stomach and I had an argument and I lost so I called and cancelled for this week. Hopefully we can get together next week to go to the record store.

I watched Westworld (the old movie) yesterday. It was pretty good but every decade has a particular kind of cheese and the 1970s really shows up in this movie. Not the end of the world, but yeah – if it comes back to the theatres on some retro night, don’t bother bringing the kids. I think they’ll be bored.

I’m doing battle with a wasp nest that’s hidden under the driveway (I think we found out when one of the wasps stung J). I put some powder down the other day and after a day or two the wasp traffic stopped, but it’s starting up again and it looks like they’ve made another entrance to their nest. I put down some more powder again this evening. Hopefully that’ll work – if not, I’ll see if we have any of that foaming wasp nest killer stuff.

A couple of days ago, J brought home a plastic bottle with a water sample from a watercooler. I took a look at three samples under the microscope and there was a ton of stuff in it. Some clear stuff that I figure is just lint or something, some greenish-brown stuff, some thick opaque stuff, and something that looks like it may have been alive at some point. She didn’t drink from the water cooler and I think that’s a good move on her part.

I spent some time today tinkering at my electronics bench. I’m amazed at how much of it I’ve forgotten. I’m hoping to pick it up again, maybe try to build something useful. We’ll see.

It’s really nice out this evening. If it’s like this tomorrow I think I will be going for a motorcycle ride around the neighbourhood.

I’ve been anxious all day. I think a lot of it has to do with my uncle, but I’m not a hundred percent sure. I tried listening to it to see if I could tease any more information out of it but had no luck.

Stay safe!

The End Of A Good Weekend

Song: “Little Arrows” by Leapy Lee

Mood: 7.5

The weekend is almost over but it was good. I had trouble sleeping on Friday night (and a particularly nasty nightmare) but last night I slept very well and don’t remember having any bad dreams at all.

It was too hot for me to be comfortable outside – around 32C today – so I spent most of my time inside. I think I only went out to water the plants, and it was far too hot to put on jeans and my welding jacket to try out those new welding rods.

Today, J and I spent a lot of time listening to records. It was nice to have her there listening to them too.

Tomorrow morning I may be getting together with WG to go to the record store. I hope it works out – the record shopping is fun and I really enjoy hanging out and chatting with him.

Well, this is going to be a short post – my medication has kicked in and I’m having trouble putting a couple of words together in the right order. I hope you all had a good weekend and that this week goes well!

Stay safe!

A Hot Summer Day

Song: “Those Were The Days” by Mary Hopkin

Mood: 8

I slept pretty well last night and feel pretty well today. No nightmares that I can remember, which is really good. Today was very warm – up around 30C – and muggy. I spent most of it indoors, thankful for air conditioning.

I called Dr P today to schedule my first appointment with him, and immediately made a bit of a fool out of myself. As we were talking, I was writing the details on a little whiteboard we have on the fridge. When I went to recite the info back to him, I accidentally read from another appointment listed on the whiteboard. Even after he corrected me, I think I wrote down the wrong time. I left him a voicemail apologizing and asking if he could call me back with the correct time. I’m sure I made a great first impression…

I listened to quite a few James Last records. I’ve got a couple of his Non-Stop Dancing albums and I’m discovering that he either has a couple of favourite songs that he reused or his band is very good at playing the same songs over several albums. I’m not complaining (they’re good songs), it’s just something I noticed. The music is cheesy at best but I find it’s really good to relax to.

I puttered around with one of my Raspberry Pi boards today. I set up an Internet radio player, which went really well, but then I ran into trouble when I tried to find Internet radio stations to play on it. Most of the stations around here have what seem to be music streams that don’t work with the software I’m using. A couple of years ago I did the same thing and had no trouble finding streams from all over the world… I guess stations want to have more control over who listens to their stuff and things like commercials.

J and I finished watching the new version of True Grit this evening. It’s a great movie – everything is done wonderfully and the acting is great, particularly Hailee Steinfeld and Jeff Bridges. We haven’t seen the John Wayne version but if we come across it I think we’ll probably watch it, too.

After supper, we headed out to do a little bit of shopping. We stopped by the hardware store so I could pick up a pack of 7018AC rods – and these ones are DEFINITELY 7018AC. Says on the box and on the rods, too. I’m looking forward to giving them a try once it’s a little cooler out.

After the hardware store, we wandered over to Walmart and while J was picking up some stuff I rummaged through the $5 DVD bin and found a couple more westerns (or western-ish) movies for us to watch. One of them is Westworld, which I’ve wanted to see since I was a kid but am a little worried that there’s going to be too much 1970s schlock in it. At least it’s got Yul Brynner in it – he was great in the first two Magnificent Seven movies.

I think there are two things that I haven’t mentioned in a while – my triops experiment (which failed horribly) and the garden (which is going great). There are already tomatoes hanging from the plants and the potato plants are knee-high. The thyme, basil, and dill seem to be mostly doing well, and the onions are coming in nicely, too. And all of this is inside a 4×8′ box. The garden was my idea but I ended up in the hospital so J and my mother-in-law did the planting (thanks you guys!) and things are going great.

It’s supposed to be 31C tomorrow and 32C on Sunday. I do not think I will be doing much outside this weekend.

Stay safe!

Last Appointment With Dr C

Today was my last appointment with Dr C. We went over a lot of the things we’ve worked on over the last year and a half, and she’s putting together a file for my new therapist, Dr P.

I’m a little sad and a little nervous about what the future will bring. Dr C introduced Dr P and I about a month ago and he seems like a pretty good fellow. Hopefully we make a good team like Dr C and I did.

Thanks again, Dr C – I appreciate everything you’ve done for me more than I can express. I wish you the best of luck!

Stay safe!

Halfway Done The Week

Song: “Flowers On The Wall” by the Statler Brothers

Mood: 7

Today went pretty well. I had a decent sleep last night and woke up feeling pretty good. I had breakfast with J and then went back to bed and set an alarm for an hour and a half. It didn’t take long for me to fall back asleep.

This morning I had my Dr H appointment. It had been two months since I’d seen her and it was good to hear that the tests that I’d done had come back with no bad results. She’s happy I’m back on the rosuvastatin and my backaches were a result of a mattress and posture problem, and not from my skeletal muscle breaking down from the medication. My next appointment with her is in five months. Five months! That’s the longest wait for a GP appointment I’ve had since I started seeing one back in 2005 or so. I’m very happy that she feels that I’m physically on good enough ground that she doesn’t need to check in on me every month. I’m calling that a win.

I was supposed to pick up welding rods, a welding respirator, and juice mix on the way home but forgot it all. I really need to start taking notes and keeping them with me.

While I was backing out of the driveway, the truck made a growling sound from the front passenger side. I’m not sure what it was but if it does it again I think I’m going to take it in to get checked. Don’t want a tie rod breaking in the middle of traffic or something like that.

I’ve been debating with myself whether I should take a class sometime soon. My concentration is much better than it used to be and I think taking a class would be a good test. Of course, my memory isn’t all that great, so maybe I should hold off until that gets a little better.

I found a very interesting website written by someone who suffers from Bipolar Disorder. It’s called Purple Persuasion and the author is an excellent writer who I feel does a really good job of discussing her difficulties and successes. I enjoy reading her posts and feel like I can understand some of the things she’s experiencing.

Tomorrow is my last appointment with Dr C for a year. I hope everything goes well for her. I’m going to miss her a lot, I think as a therapist and patient we worked together quite well. I’m not really sure what else to say – what do you say to someone who has saved your life?

Stay safe!

Much Better!

Song: “I’m On My Way” by the Proclaimers

Mood: 7.5

I slept pretty well last night. I woke up once from a nightmare but that was about it. Other parts of town got a good thunderstorm but I think it missed us by a bit. I’m still waiting for a good storm to see how well the thunder and lightning go. I think I’ll be okay but it would be nice to know.

It was tough getting out of bed this morning because I felt a little creaky and the bed was extra comfortable for some reason. I got up with J and had breakfast, then went back to bed for a bit.

At 10:30, WG showed up and we headed off to two of the thrift stores in the area to look for some records. The first place was a bust – I found three records that I wanted but they were all in really bad shape. The second place had some good stuff.

By “good stuff”, I mean stuff I enjoy, like a couple of James Last albums that I didn’t have. I haven’t listened to them yet but will over the next few days.

It was good to hang out with WG again. I think it’s been around two months since we last got together and it was fun to catch up and shoot the breeze while we were flipping through the record stacks and looking at second-hand toasters.

I got home around noon and went and sat in the basement for a while to clear my mind and do my exercises. It was very pleasant to just sit still and let my brain wander to wherever it wanted.

After J got home we talked for a while about how both of us had better days today than yesterday and then made supper.

I’ve been reading a lot of XKCD comics lately. I like the simplicity of the drawings and the extensive explanations in his “what if” series. It’s a really good read.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr H in the morning and the rest of my day is clear. I think I’m going to stop by the hardware store on the way home and pick up some 7018AC rods. This time I’ll be very careful to make sure they’re AC and not the regular rods. Depending on the weather, I may do some welding. We’ll see.

Stay safe!

Not A Great Day

Song: “Making It Work” by Doug and the Slugs

Mood: 5.5

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’m not even sure why, I just didn’t fall asleep. I took my medication on time but it didn’t do a thing. I remember flipping over a lot and the last time I remember seeing on the clock was 2:06AM. I should’ve gotten up and done something boring to try and help but I didn’t. I’m not sure why.

I got up with J this morning and was really looking forward to getting together with WG to go to the record store. I was supposed to meet him at his house and he’d drive the rest of the way (the record store is downtown and well beyond my current driving abilities). Unfortunately, just as I was about to go out I realized my wallet wasn’t where it was supposed to be. I’d misplaced it and had no idea where it was.

After about 20 minutes of frantic searching, I called WG and apologized, saying I wouldn’t be able to make it. I felt terrible about it – I haven’t seen him in a long time and was really looking forward to getting together and catching up, and it was my fault that it didn’t work out. WG was okay with it and said we’ll just do it next week but I felt awful. I was also really worried about where my wallet was.

I got back to searching the house and couldn’t find it. After about an hour of searching I had a pretty big panic attack that I wasn’t able to do anything about. Had I dropped my wallet outside somewhere? Did someone have my cards and personal information? What was I going to tell the bank and the credit card company? Was J going to be mad? Was WG actually okay with things?

It took me about 45 minutes before I had my wits about me enough to continue the search. After about another two hours of looking, I found it – underneath and behind one of the couch cushions. I had checked the couches several times, but I hadn’t pulled the cushions all the way out until then. I was relieved and frustrated with myself at the same time.

I sat down for a bit and did some breathing exercises to calm myself down. Then I tried to take a nap but didn’t have any luck.

Just after J got home, the phone rang – it was WG calling to see if I’d found my wallet and to ask if I’d like to go to a couple of thrift stores in the area to check out their record selection tomorrow. That cheered me up quite a bit – I was relieved that he wasn’t mad at me for screwing up the day. I’m looking forward to getting together with him, and I know EXACTLY where my wallet is.

J made supper this evening and it was really good – farmer sausage and gnocchi. I’d never had gnocchi before but it was really good. J is a very good cook – much better than I am.

I’m not entirely sure what we’re going to do this evening but I’m going to try to get to bed a little early to hopefully catch up a bit. Things do not go well for me if I’m missing out on too much sleep.

Stay safe!