Bringing Home The Bacon (Ham)

Song: “What’s With Terry” by The Undertones

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 2?

I didn’t sleep very well last night again. Nightmares woke me up at least twice. I was able to calm myself back down without having to get up but I hate feeling all clammy and tense in bed – it’s supposed to be comfortable and reassuring. The nightmares were the same ones I’ve been having for the last two and a half years. Is variety good when it comes to nightmares? Would it be better if instead of the same thing every time I got chased around by a monster or something?

My exercises didn’t go well, either. I went through my little routine to prepare but between being tired and anxious, my mind kept wandering. I even tried stretching out on the couch and thought I’d let myself just fall asleep, but I couldn’t.

I sent out some texts again today and had a couple of conversations. I like sending out the texts with a little greeting and a stupid cat/dog video. Hopefully I’m not annoying anyone…

It looked like it was going to rain this morning so I held off going for my walk. There was still a bunch of standing water from the storm last night. From what I heard on the news, it sounds like we were lucky – some places nearby got some pretty crazy weather. Before I decided to wait, I sat at my computer and played around with the number pad to see if I could remember what my debit card PIN number was. The trick was to stop concentrating – once I just let my fingers tap they keys, I figured it out.

I worked on another “videos that make me smile” post but put it aside when I ran into trouble deciding which videos to include. I think I’ll get it figured out this weekend.

Eventually, the sky cleared up. I had my lunch and then put on my hat and Crocs (oh yeah) and went out for my walk. It was disgusting out – quite warm and the air was a thick, humid blanket that stuck my shirt to me and made the air taste damp. It smelled all swampy, like rotting vegetation. I made my way to the mini mall and did two circuits of the parking lot, sweating like crazy. I argued with myself a bit about going into the grocery store and then thought about how nice it would feel to walk down the frozen goods aisle. I went in, did a lap of the store (and spent extra time by the freezers) and then, throwing caution to the wind, I grabbed two hams and went to the checkout. I figured I’d try to use the tap feature of my card to pay but (surprise) it didn’t work. So I plugged in the PIN number I’d remembered earlier and… it worked.

Hams in hand, I left the cool, dry air of the grocery store and headed back out into the tropical swamp. At the house down the street that’s putting in a swimming pool, there was one poor worker who was shovelling gravel. He did not look comfortable.

So… after six months of medication changes and therapy, I walked to the store, went inside, bought ham, and brought it home. I’m almost embarrassed to feel proud of myself. I will feel a lot better about things if I can contribute more to stuff at home, though, and being able to pick up some groceries will certainly help.

For some reason, I wanted to put a fly wing under the microscope today and try out those filters to see what it would look like. I went BACK outside with a little plastic cup and tried to catch a fly. God, I feel stupid typing that. I feel even stupider admitting that I couldn’t catch anything – a really relaxed dragonfly was nearby but I like them too much and they do a good job of eating other bugs. After a couple of minutes, the novelty of standing outside in the sun wore off and I went back inside.

I had another idea, though, and set the microscope up to take a look at some salt. I sprinkled a little bit onto a slide and looked at it with the normal light at 100x:

Salt, Brightfield, 100xThen I put the filters on and it looked like this:

Salt, Polarized, 100xPretty cool, and it gave me some more ideas for things to look at.

For some reason, I wasn’t jumping at every single sound and smell in the house today. I still spent a lot of time staring at things, but it didn’t seem as disruptive as usual. Maybe I was just in a better frame of mind, or maybe I was too tired to care. Maybe I should keep some notes or something… have some kind of data to see which way things are trending.

I played some more Star Trek this afternoon. Got another, bigger ship to add to my little fleet, the majestic USS Tonsillitis. I think I have more fun naming the ships than I do using them. I flew around, blew up some stuff, murdered a bunch of Klingons, and went back in time to destroy a comet. Yep, it was a busy day for the crew of the Tonsillitis. They’re a good crew. Been with me since we were taking our first, tentative steps out into the galaxy in the Bursitis.

I tried to work on my ACT eulogy today but I couldn’t get much traction. It feels weird, thinking about that kind of thing. It’s much easier to think about gravestones. I think I want mine to say something like “FOUGHT A BEAR. LOST.” or “I KNEW THE EGGS TASTED FUNNY” or “I HOPE THEY NAME IT AFTER ME”. Something along those lines. But the eulogy… not so easy.

J and I watched another Boston Legal this evening. We’re getting to the end of the third season. I’m not sure if I want to watch the fourth – it was like they knew it was the final season so they just did whatever they wanted. I guess we’re going to have to figure out what to watch next. Maybe we’ll watch a movie or two this weekend.

So that’s where things are at. Sorry about writing bullet-pointed posts the last two days, I just didn’t have the oomph for a real one. And now I REALLY need to get to bed.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Stay safe.

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