And It’s Over…

Song “Ex Lion Tamer” by Wire

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

I didn’t sleep nearly as well last night as I did the night before. No nightmares, but I woke up worrying about things a lot. Fortunately, I took my regular set of pictures before I went to bed and they helped quite a bit so I only had to get up and do a lap around the house once. It was very difficult to convince myself to get out of bed this morning – mainly because I knew what was happening this afternoon and evening.

I’ve been clenching my jaw quite a bit lately and today was the second day in a row that I needed to grab something for a headache before I started to feel like I was going to be ill. I’ve got lots on my mind nowadays but I need to remember to take some more breaths here and there.

Spent quite a bit of time on the phone today. My folks called to see what was new and we talked for quite a while. Things are going well and they were getting everything ready for Halloween. My uncle is back home and walking around quite a bit. He’s taking it slow, but I certainly would too if my insides had been taken apart and sewn back together. I find myself repeatedly amazed at the great attitudes that all three of my uncles have. One’s getting abdominal surgery after surgery and is worried about finding more cancer, one is slowly but inexorably losing control of his body, and one can’t seem to get ahead of the infection that keeps taking more and more of his leg. I admire and am proud of them for not just giving up (which would probably be a lot easier than all the physio and tests and specialists they have to do and see).

My sister called right after I got off the phone with my parents. Things are going well there too and the kids were excited about going out trick or treating. Nothing too exciting going on there (which is fine by me), and aside from their insane schedule with hockey and school events and friends and other sports, they don’t have anything planned for the near future.

After I got off the phone I made some room, finished unpacking the sewing machine, gave it a look to see if anything looked wrong, and then figured I’d fire it up. To do anything useful, though, I needed to fill a bobbin up with thread. There is a set of paper instructions but the drawings weren’t entirely clear so I turned to the Internet. Eventually I was pretty confident that I was doing things right. I gently pressed down on the foot pedal. There was movement. A little more, and the machine started winding thread around the bobbin like crazy:

My Dr W appointment was difficult today, mainly because of the usual problems but also because the psych ward in the hospital I go to is going to be shut down, possibly before the end of the year. Dr W and bunch of the staff are heading over to the new location so there may be some familiar faces if I ever end up in there. Unfortunately, there are several nurses who decided to stay at the hospital they’re working in now and they’re transferring to other departments. I really wish everyone all the best and I hope they find enjoyment and satisfaction in their new job, wherever that may lead them. I hope enough of them are still around so if I end up back in the hospital, I don’t have to learn every single person from scratch. I also really hope the recreational and occupational therapists move to the new hospital ward – they did such incredible work while I was there. Amazing stuff. But… this being a big-budget government move, it’s probably going to take eight more months before they can seriously consider starting.

Oh, and we got flu shots from the hospital pharmacy while we were there. Two birds, one stone.

We also talked about Halloween which, at that point, was about two hours away. I had trouble explaining to him exactly what bothers me about Halloween. It’s the sounds and the voices. When I hear them, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I hate it.

On our way home, J suggested we pick something up quickly to eat so I could get myself comfortably hidden in the basement while she handed out the treats and kept watch. I devoured my supper, then brought my laptop down to the laboratory, put earbuds in, put ear defenders on over top, and blasted the sound while I played Star Trek Online. It worked pretty well – I only heard the door a couple of times. Eventually, the kids stopped coming so J shut off the light and came down to see me.

Halloween is done for another year, and I am very grateful for that.

After J had locked the door, we sat down on the couch with the remaining candy and nibbled away at it while we watched some more Parks and Recreation. Then it was time to start heading toward bed, but I decided to do a blog post. I have fallen asleep five or six times now, and I’ve had to go back and edit several parts because hey made absolutely no sense. So… seeing as how I won’t remember writing this tomorrow, it will be a surprise to me to go through it. Hopefully it’s not too bad or confusing.

Tomorrow I plan to cut apart some old rags, get the thread in the sewing machine properly run, and start sewing things together. Wish me luck!

Stay safe.

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