Song: “She’s So High” by Tal Bachman
Mood: 7.5
Nightmares: 0
Today has been another good day that went by quite quickly. I listened to a lot of records, did some writing, and puttered around at my electronics bench. I don’t know where the time went.
It was a little more difficult to do my mindfulness exercises today. I don’t know why – nothing in particular was wrong, but my mind kept jumping tracks and thinking about stuff that’s coming up or has already happened.
This evening I took the hard drive out of my computer with the broken key and put it into J’s old Dell laptop. To my surprise, it found the devices and booted up without me having to do anything fancy. That was quite a relief – I don’t have the heart or patience to fool around with that stuff for very long. I still feel bad about my old computer because I think it’s the best one I’ve ever owned, but it’s done its time and deserves a rest. Plus, I can’t replace individual keys on it and a new keyboard is going to be around $100. Not worth putting into a machine that old. So far, this Dell is working just fine.
I still can’t figure out why the “B” key broke. Oh well.
I noticed today that I’m starting to slip on some of the OCD stuff again. I’m banging on the freezer lid after I close it again. I’m also fighting to not check to make sure the front door is locked and the garage door is closed. The garage in particular is bothering me because today is the first day that J parked in the garage after work so I know the door has been opened. I believe her when she says she closed it but I just want to go and look just in case. I need to relax and try to remember that everything’s okay and even if we left the garage door open it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
I still don’t notice any difference with the lower haloperidol dosage so I think/hope that I’m good to go. I see Dr W in two weeks and it would be a nice Christmas present if I could lower it from 2mg to 1mg. I’m not hearing voices or anything like that, and even if I was, Dr C gave me a list of techniques I could try to see if I can shut them down myself instead of increasing the medication again. If I’m in bad shape and need to increase the medication, I have no problem doing that, but it would be nice if I could get off some of this stuff for good.
I’m not sure what’s going on tomorrow. J and I are probably going to do a bunch of cleaning but that shouldn’t take too long. I’m not sure what we’re going to do with the rest of our day. Maybe we can fit in a movie or something like that.
Stay safe.