A Very Quick Weekend

Song: “I Think I Love You” by The Partridge Family

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Very Few

Friday was a fair day. The phrenology bust I printed had several flaws, and despite my best efforts with the belt sander, superglue, and latex caulking, it didn’t work out. The good thing is I now know what I did wrong, so right now (it’s 11:54PM on Sunday) the printer is humming away (with a properly levelled print bed) on a new version that will take over a day to print but should be vastly superior to my first attempt.

My Dr C appointment was less difficult than some of them have been lately. She led me through a relaxation exercise that really helped and, amazingly, I left the clinic feeling less wrung-out than I did when I went in. I even stopped at the newly renovated first floor and had a brief and somewhat awkward chat with the receptionist that used to work on Dr C’s floor.

As for the weekend… it went by so quickly, I can’t believe it’s already Sunday evening. J and I got a lot of stuff done around the house and we had some time to hang out and relax, too. We’ve been working our way through the sixth season of Elementary and I’m pleased that it was renewed – season six seems much stronger than the fifth or fourth were.

I measured the leftover fabric from the curtains we made last week and I think I might be able to get three bags out of it. That’d bring the total to seven, which I think is a good amount to donate to a shelter. I will start on them tomorrow – I don’t usually sew in the evenings or on weekends because (for me anyway) running a sewing machine is a very interruptable hobby, so nothing will get ruined when I’m wandering around the house, chasing ghosts.

I’ve been running the 3D printer every day since I got it running for probably close to 16 hours a day. I’m comfortable enough with it now that tonight is the first time I’m running it overnight. I can hear it in the bedroom but hopefully it won’t keep either of us awake. I’ve got my fingers crossed that it’s not a sound that I can’t ignore. It shouldn’t be – hearing the sound means that it’s working. But who knows. There is a smoke detector in the room and I set up an old lamp and a Raspberry Pi wireless camera in there so I can take a look at the printer whenever I want.

I’m getting a little caught up in what the printer can do. Every time I look somewhere, I can see a new design and printing project. The furnace vent, the stands for J’s stained glass, little drawers for my sewing desk, doodads to help sew, flower pots, that broken piece on the downstairs couch, new handguards for my dual sport bike, a patch for the fuel tank on my dirt bike, a handle for our shoehorn, all kinds of guards, shims, knobs… and that’s before I even start thinking of the toy-like stuff I want to build, like some space ships and characters from TV/movie/game/comics. Lots of stuff to try! The supplies I ordered should be here on Wednesday, and then it’ll be time to figure out how to print with other materials.

I’m still thinking a lot about how it’s unlikely that I’ll ever see the nurses or staff from the hospital again. It bothers me quite a bit, but I spoke with my mom on Friday morning and she had a good point – once I’m a little more back on my feet, I can take a trip to those other hospitals and say hello. I really hope everyone gets through these changes without too much trouble.

J has been doing a ton of paperwork and making dozens of phone calls to my employer, insurance company, union, and Dr W. She’s spent an enormous amount of time and sweat getting everything together because I can’t do it – even writing about it right now is making my stomach start to lurch forward and backward. I need to say this, though: I can’t properly express how much I appreciate the work she’s doing (trust me, I appreciate it A LOT).

Because of all of J’s time and effort, a little while ago my insurance company recommended to my employer that I be moved from short-term disability to long-term. My employer considered it, along with the reports that J has been submitting, statements from Dr W and Dr C on my current status, prognosis, and compliance with my treatment, and has offered me the option of taking a medical retirement.

J explained how the medical retirement would work and I’m not sure where I sit. It sounds like a good idea – the insurance company will leave us alone except for a couple of calls a year. I would also not have to worry about my employer calling me back into work, because I’ll be retired from my position. It gives me more time to make as much of a recovery I can, and when I’m back on solid footing, there’s nothing stopping me from getting another job or taking some classes. I’ll even be able to volunteer at, say, a hospital once I’m ready.

At the same time, though, this is NOT how I expected my life to go. I’d planned to work until I was 55, then retire comfortably and hang out with J all the time. I did not expect to be 43 and unable to work. And still, after all this time, I don’t trust either my employer or my insurance company. Now that the medical retirement is a possibility, there are even more people looking at my case and treatment, and any of them could choose to cause a problem. I don’t know why I still don’t trust my employer or my insurance company, but I don’t.

Okay, enough of that, I really don’t want to think about it anymore. Plus, it’s way past my bedtime so I must go. Talk to you tomorrow.

Stsy safe.

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