I didn’t sleep all that well last night but I still felt pretty good when I got up. I had cereal for breakfast and chatted with J until she headed off to work. I thought about taking a nap but instead I sat at my desk, brainstorming about work and education and time. I didn’t come to any conclusions but I did write out a couple of pages of ideas. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to get closer to where I want to be the next time I look at it.
I think about work a lot. Having time off is really allowing me to get better, but I want to help people and be a positive contributor to society. I’m following all of the instructions I get from Dr W and Dr C and I can feel a general trend upward but I’m still scared that I’ll have a really down day (like a two or a three) or have a bunch of panic attacks. Plus, I still can’t drive very far and I can’t answer the phone.
This afternoon I went to my first group session outside of a hospital. I took a few wrong turns but I got there. It was very interesting and the facilitators were very good. As it’s like Fight Club, I can’t go into much more detail but I think I’m going to try it again next week and see how it goes, then talk to Dr W and Dr C and see if this should be something I pursue.
On a happy note, driving to the group session marked the farthest I’ve driven from home since I went into the hospital on May of last year! In some ways I’m proud of myself, but in others I’m still embarrassed and disappointed in myself for not being able to drive wherever and whenever I want.
This evening, J and I had a wonderful dinner and then went downstairs to start putting the room we call the “laboratory” back together. It had turned into a dumping ground for stuff we were sorting through but we’d really like a clean, functional room so we started there. All of my Spongebob memorabilia went into a box for later opening or getting rid of. I really like the early Spongebob cartoons (yes, I realize I’m 40+) and my family and friends got me a lot of Spongebob loot over the years.
This evening I started to set up a little webserver at home using a Raspberry Pi. I’m pretty rusty with this stuff so it’s taking a lot more thinking than I’d expected.
In just a short while J and I are going to head to the rec room and watch some TV – probably a few episodes of Community. All in all, the day was quite successful and I’m feeling pretty good, probably around a six or six and a half.