Going Shopping Tomorrow (No Nightmares)

Song: Song from 1980s Finesse Shampoo Commercial (AGAIN)

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Pack

Once again, I fell asleep on the couch, but this time I fell asleep with my legs crossed and propped up on the ottoman so in addition to the usual fell-asleep-on-the-couch issues, today I feel like my knees and ankles are made out of old screws wrapped in sandpaper. Woe is me, and extra woe because it’s my own damn fault again. I should set up a camera to see what actually happens. Do I say, “oh, I’m tired so I should get up aZZZZZZZZ,” or do is it something like, “I’m kinda comfy here so maybe I’ll just sit for a couple more minutZZZZZZZ,” or is there suddenly a really bright light that hypnotizes me and lifts me off the couch and up to a waiting flying saucer for a round of good old-fashioned alien probing?

No nightmares last night, though, which I’m quite happy about. Oh, and I woke up this morning with my CPAP hose wrapped around my neck and the machine just a couple of centimetres from falling off the nightstand. Part of me wonders if I was snoring a bit too much again and J got mad…

Another slow start today but things went alright and after I got up to speed I kept quite busy and got a lot of stuff done. Another thing done on the printer, some more tidying, some more writing, and some more thinking.

I had an idea for something else that I’d like to try that may also help some people out. Everybody knows about Wikipedia, but a while ago FA introduced me to the Simple English Wikipedia, where the articles should be just as detailed as Wikipedia but using “… Basic English vocabulary and shorter sentences,” as the main page for simple.wikipedia.org says. I used it for some of that volunteering I was doing and I looked up The Undertones. The Wikipedia article is about 3500 words long. The Simple English Wikipedia? 17. So maybe I can pitch in and do something about that. I should bounce this off FA – she knows a lot about the Wikipedia stuff.

I think I mentioned this a few days ago, but I don’t think I’ve noticed any problems (or anything at all, actually) from reducing the venlafaxine after my last appointment with Dr W. I think/hope this is a good sign that I’ll be able to reduce it some more in the future. I have no problem with taking medication that helps me, but if I can take less and still be okay, I’d rather do that.

The volunteering I was going to do tomorrow is off and we’ll pick up again next week. Instead, FA is going to come over tomorrow for another round of geeking out and scheming and burritos and talking and all kinds of stuff! I think we’re going to pay the hardware store a visit, too, which will be neat. There’s always at least a handful of unlabelled things in that store that neither of us have seen before so we spend time turning it over and trying to figure out what it is or what it does.

Stay safe.

More Nightmares

Song: Song from 1980s Finesse Shampoo Commercial (stuck on very short loop, sigh…)

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 2?

Ghosts: Lots

I fell asleep on the couch again last night. I don’t know what’s changed – I don’t go sit on the couch because I’m tired, I’d much rather go to bed. I wake up hours later, phone on my lap or the floor (sometimes still playing a show), and stumble off to bed. This has led to quite a few days of sore throats and headaches and poor sleeps. I’m considering whether I should set an alarm on my phone to remind me (or wake me up and remind me) to go to bed.

I had more nightmares (tent) last night, too. I remember two – the first one wasn’t too bad but the second one had me up on my feet and feeling that inner tube winding tight around my chest. I was already out in the living room with the lights on, which I think was good, and after I calmed down I went to bed and held onto J until I fell asleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later and got out of bed an hour or so after that, then started my day. I spent quite a bit of time with the music way up… I hope the neighbours don’t hear it, and if they do hear it, I hope they don’t mind. I don’t turn it up until at least 11AM and it’s turned back down around 4PM.

J has an electronics project for me and I spent a good amount of time working on that. Some more stuff got printed, some more stuff got written down, and some more tidying got done. I’m starting to get better at timing things so I start thing A and let it go in the background while I work on thing B, etc.

Tomorrow is Thursday… I don’t think I have anything specific going on, but there is a lot of stuff to do so I intend to keep busy. I think I might volunteer again on Friday for a little while, but we’ll see how that goes. I like helping but at the same time I don’t want to waste my (or their) time if nothing is getting accomplished.

Stay safe.

Flu Shot Day

Song: N/A

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

Just a quick post tonight. Things have been going along alright and nothing too exciting is going on, which is good.

The weekend went well but both J and I ended it feeling a little more tired and down than when we entered it. Neither of us is entirely sure why, but it is what it is. We finally got around to starting the final season of Elementary, and so far it’s been pretty good.

I didn’t accomplish a huge amount today. It’s been taking me a little longer to get out of bed lately – I’ve been spending a lot more time just staring up at the ceiling and rubbing my face while cursing myself to get out of bed. No nightmares last night, though, which was the first night in about a week.

FA called this afternoon and we geeked out about project-y stuff. Both of us are quite susceptible to wandering off on tangents or chasing things down rabbit holes, but I think that’s part of why we are good at figuring things out. One of us has an idea and drags the other along until they say “hang on a sec”. It was an interesting conversation.

J and I went and got our flu shots today. I don’t know if I’m getting tougher with age or if the needles are getting finer and finer, but I could barely feel it when I got poked. Way better than the hollowed-out piece of bent rebar they used to give us the DT shots back in high school.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time over the last few days fiddling around with designing parts and printing them up. I won’t dare say I’m even the least bit good at it, but I do enjoy it a lot and a lot less stuff is coming off the printer and going straight into the garbage or recycling now.

No appointments this week but I think I’m going to do some more volunteering on Friday. It’s been working pretty well so far and it gets me out of the house and talking with people, so that’s good. Plus, helping someone out makes me feel good, so that’s nice too.

Other than that, not a heck of a lot is going on. I thought I had another thing I wanted to write down but I can’t remember right now.

Stay safe.

More Nightmares

Song: N/A

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 2?

Ghosts: Lots

I’m really foggy on what happened last night aside from two nightmares (lifejacket, tent) and some weird dreams. One of them got me out into the light of the living room again, which sucks. J has mentioned a couple of times that I’ve been restless in my sleep lately, too. The nightmares and poor sleep seem to happen for a few days or a week or so at a time, then go away. I haven’t made any changes to my nighttime medications, nor have I made any changes to my routine or diet, etc. It is not fun to be worried/scared about what’s going to happen when you’re sleeping.

I also had some pretty weird dreams (I don’t count dreams as nightmares unless they wake me up I feel like I’m going to panic). I don’t remember most of them, but one stands out – I was arguing with Willie Nelson over a Popular Science magazine in the checkout line of the K-Mart in the town where I grew up. Don’t ask – I don’t have a clue.

So I’m pretty beat. I didn’t accomplish much today, but I did drive to my Dr C appointment without incident, which felt pretty good. The appointment itself was very tiring and I could hear myself stammering, trying to find words that usually come pretty easily. We talked quite a bit about Halloween and how/why it bothers me, which was quite difficult. We are still working on me getting out of the house, as well as ghost chasing while I’m home, but we are now also working on my sleep. Apparently there is some new research about sleep that… I can’t remember right now, but I do remember it making good sense at the time. Something about how your brain regulates deep sleep vs REM sleep… argh. Anyway, I’m starting in on a sleep diary tonight and will do it for the next two weeks, then we’ll see what we can do.

After the appointment, I went to pick up the groceries J and I ordered last night; that also went without incident, and the person who brought out the order thanked me for the silly comments I put for some of the items in the online order form. Hopefully she was being serious. I should probably go check and see if the eggs are all broken or the condensed milk cans have been licked…

Speaking of ghosts, with the colder weather here, the house is making all kinds of different noises again, and they’re difficult to ignore unless my mind is really occupied with something or I’m muffling or drowning the sounds out somehow. I know what a lot of them are or can figure them out pretty easily, which is good, but they’re still quite a distraction, and another thing that’s worse when I’m tired.

I also got notice of two appointments for tests coming up in the next couple of months. It will be nice when everything’s done and figured out or fixed or whatever.

I forgot to mention yesterday (or Tuesday… or Monday) that FA came over on Monday for a visit and to geek out about some projects she’s working on. We had a good chat (as always), and (as always) the conversation snaked around and took all kinds of odd turns to different subjects. I often find myself amazed at how much ground we cover when I’m reflecting on the day later. Plus, we had delicious burritos for lunch and fit in a few games of Carcassonne!

Tomorrow I plan to volunteer at the church for a little while. Other than that, I think it’s going to be a quiet day. Then, on to the weekend.

Stay safe.

Something Else From Yesterday…

I remember something else that happened yesterday – I was making some eggs and this happened:

Eggs with double yolkI’ve never seen one of those before. Double yolks are supposed to be lucky, right?

Me being me, I wrecked them right after I took this picture because I needed to look inside them to make sure everything was ok and there wasn’t anything gross in there.

Stay safe.

Gotta Be Real Quick

Song: “Country Roads” by John Denver

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 2+

Ghosts: Lots

I haven’t been posting as often as usual, sorry. I’m having a lot of trouble getting a good sleep. Nightmares last night (tent), and for whatever stupid reason, I fell asleep on the couch again so my throat’s been sore and I’ve had a headache all day.

Talked with my folks today, they’re doing well. More renovations (baseboards this time) and they’re quite busy. It was good to talk to them.

J’s aunt drove me to and from my appointment today, bless her little heart. We had a very good chat there and on the way home. It was almost… dare I say it? Pleasant?

The appointment itself was a little harder mainly because it went on for quite some time and we talked a lot about medications. We’re trying lowering the venlafaxine this week to see how it goes. Wish me luck!

There’s a bunch more to talk about (remind me about the eggs I had today) but I’m too tired to concentrate.

Stay safe.

And On To The Weekend

Song: “Mr Blue Sky” by ELO

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Few

Halloween gets me twisted into all kinds of knots, and it’s difficult to calm down. I ended up hiding in the basement with headphones on while J handled all of the trick-or-treating, and even with that, some PRNs, and some grounding, it was still unpleasant. J came and got me when everything was done and over with, and we hung out for a while, talked and watched some shows. It was a long time before I calmed down enough to doze off on the couch – probably close to 5AM. I woke up around 8, hoisted myself off the couch, and went to bed.

Later on, I found this dish sitting on the ottoman by the couch:

Empty cake dishI don’t remember how it got there, or whether I actually ate the cake in it or not, which is a little disappointing because the cake was really good. I’m still not 100% convinced that J didn’t eat it and put it there, knowing I probably wouldn’t remember…

So, not a lot of sleep last night, which made getting up and convincing myself to go to the church to volunteer a little tougher than I expected. I’m glad I did, though, because things went quite well and I felt good about it when it was done. It feels very right to me when I’m able to help someone out.

Otherwise, today has been pretty quiet. J wants to use a phone as her nightstand clock/alarm, so I designed a holder for it and started the print. Before I knew it, it was supper (which was amazing), and then the evening. Now it’s 1AM and I’m not sure what I’m going to do next. Or tomorrow. This coming week, though, FA is coming over on Monday, I have a Dr W appointment on Wednesday, and a Dr C appointment on Thursday. I think so, anyway. I should probably send some emails and look for appointment cards to make sure.

Stay safe.