Still Pleased

Song: “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Horde

Okay, so I’m still pleased about how the driving thing went. I called my folks a while after I got home and dried up and Mom actually made a little squealing noise when I told her. I’ve never heard her make that sound before. J is happy, too, and we had a good chat about everything once she got home.

As for the rest of the day, it wasn’t too bad. I slept a little worse last night and had to get up twice to check in on the gate but I only woke J up once (sorry about that) and everything with the gate and yard and garage was fine. The lawn company didn’t show up again today so I have now locked the gate so that’s one less thing on my mind.

My appointment with Dr H was exhausting. I found it very difficult to concentrate on what we were talking about because I was not only worried about all the regular stuff but the truck, too. Was it locked? Was I parked badly? Was there a bloody patch of hair on one of the bumpers? Did I close the windows? I took some pictures of the windows and locks but I couldn’t really stare at my phone during my appointment…

I got some good news. My lung test came back normal, which was great to hear. The x-ray they took of my lungs showed nothing weird going on with them, either. Then Dr H asked me if my back hurt. I told her it hurts all the time but that’s pretty normal for me, and she said that the x-ray showed that one of my vertebrae got mushed up at some point in the past. She asked me a bunch of questions and the best guess at this point is that it’s from a motorcycle accident I was in eight years ago. Just to be on the safe side, though, Dr H is sending me to get my bones checked out. I’m sure it will be fine, but I’ve had a lot of x-rays since 2011 and nobody has caught this until now, so who knows.

Dr H was also very pleased to hear that my quetiapine dose has been lowered. Weight gain and high blood sugar are some of the possible side effects, and while I am grateful that the medication is available and would be fine with bumping the dosage back up if needed, the lower amounts of the fewer things I’m taking, the better.

Everything else was pretty routine. All of my other tests came back fine, and aside from changing my blood pressure medication and my puffer around a bit, there weren’t any changes. Dr H surprised me by either having a perfect memory or that she read my chart before my appointment. She’s a fine doctor and I am fortunate to have lucked into having her as my GP. J and I were talking about that this evening and we were joking around a bit about how my experiences with my GPs have been over the years. I had one doctor who was a great doctor but also kind of a criminal (he’s now in prison). Then, I had a doctor who wasn’t a criminal but was pretty useless. Now, I have a GP who’s that perfect mix of great doctor AND not criminal that everyone hopes for.

It was quite a bit cooler today than yesterday but I found it quite pleasant so I had the windows open today to let the fresh air in. I went outside and watered the garden and to my surprise we have five little potato plants sticking up through the dirt, and the pepper plant already has a flower on it. I hope it’s not too early for the bees – I don’t want to have to put on my bee costume and rub my butt on the flowers in the yard. I told myself that last year was going to be the final time I put on that suit…

J and I watched another Blue Planet II, and once again I was impressed. The stupid mantis shrimp startled me but I think that’s actually a good thing. I know I said yesterday that sperm whales are my favourite thing in the ocean, but I also really like rays and skates and how they seem to fly through the ocean. Oh, and there was one part where there was a huge gathering of anchovies, so predators were showing up and eating them. It started with dolphins, then seals (yes, they’re predators too), the occasional seabird… and then WHOOOMPH – fish go flying through the air all over the place and these big Jesus humpback whales break through the surface with mouths wide open. Quite the spectacle!

Anyway… so that was pretty much my day. I also did some more electronics tinkering and made more progress along those lines, too.

I’m not sure what the weekend will bring. J and I don’t have any pressing stuff going on and it’s supposed to be nice out again, so who knows.

I hope you all have an enjoyable, restorative weekend!

Stay safe.


Today marks the first time I’ve driven myself to an appointment in close to a year and a half. Check it out:

Parked At The Clinic

Yep, that’s my sneaker. And my truck.

I had to change clothes when I got home, though – it was pretty much a tsunami of flop sweat.

It didn’t even go badly. I parked far back in the lot where there was lots of space, and made sure there was lots of time for me to get to where I needed to be.

The appointment was more difficult than usual because I could barely concentrate on what Dr H was saying, but I drove the truck… by myself… to an appointment. AND I LEFT THE GATE UNLOCKED.

No guarantees I will be able to do it again next time, but I’m pretty happy with this today.

Stay safe.

What A Cute Puppy…

Song: “Yer So Bad” by Tom Petty

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

I slept pretty well last night, only waking up worrying about things twice that I can remember, and neither time got me out of bed. I think I can say pretty confidently now that the quetiapine reduction is not causing any problems.

This morning I went through my regular routine, sent out some texts, and started another print to finish up the turnbuckle I started yesterday. I like starting the prints earlier in the day because I’d rather not let the printer finish at 2AM and sit there for the next six hours idling if I can help it. I’m not worried about the power, it’s more the wear on the fans, stuff like that.

I went for my walk this morning and there were little bits of fluff drifting in the breeze from the trees. It’s interesting how they can just hang there for a moment and then wander away, like they had a mind of their own. While I was out I passed a woman carrying a very cute little beagle-like puppy. Its eyes were closed but its tail was wagging against her arm. I said hello, she said hi back and then kind of shrugged and said, “She’s tired.” I don’t normally say things like this, but it was adorable.

I got back home and sat out on the deck steps for a while, enjoying the sight of the dandelion carnage in the yard. Not quite as long as yesterday because it was getting pretty warm, but the neighbour’s dog wasn’t yapping at me so that was nice.

I did some writing today and spent a lot more time tinkering with electronics. FA let me borrow a box of 37 different modules and I’ve been playing with some of them. I also spent some time working on getting a little LCD display working. I can’t believe how pleasant it is to work with this stuff. A few weeks ago I was still forcing myself to sit down and futz with various things, but I find now that I’m looking forward to working with them and seeing how it all works. I think that’s a good thing.

The tree company didn’t show up again today. Tonight will be the last night that I leave the gate unlocked. While I’ve proven the last couple of nights that I can still relax enough to get to sleep, leaving it unlocked makes me uncomfortable. Plus, it’s a gate. With a lock. Seems silly to not actually use it.

J and I watched another episode of Blue Planet II this evening. Sperm whales are hands-down my favourite thing that lives in the ocean, and the footage they captured of them for this episode was really impressive. They even had a camera mounted on one of the whales as she dove with her calf. Amazing stuff.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr H. I expect I’ll get the results of my nerve and lung tests. We will see what happens.

Stay safe.

Mother Nature Is A Harsh Mistress

Song: “The Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

So… I was puttering around last night after I finished yesterday’s post and there was a horrible, vaguely familiar screaming sound coming from outside. I couldn’t tell exactly where, but I looked out the windows and didn’t see anything. I stared at the gate for quite a while before I was able to pry myself away from the window and turn off the light, and eventually I went to bed.

I slept reasonably well. I remember waking up twice, and once I had to get out of bed to take a look at the back yard and gate, but all was well. I didn’t lock it all night and nothing happened. That’s good, because the tree company didn’t show up today so I’m going to try and leave it unlocked again tonight.

This morning, J got up, got all prettied up (it doesn’t take very long), and headed out the front door, ready to start her day. She walked into a nightmare. Turns out the screaming I’d heard last night was a bunny getting mangled by something (I knew I’d heard it before), and the corpse was being enjoyed by a bunch of crows. She got a shovel, chased off the scavengers, cleaned it up, then got in the car and headed to work.

I didn’t know about it until she texted me later and asked me to go out and make sure there weren’t any extra bunny parts lying around. I stepped into my crocs and shuffled out onto the lawn, wandering back and forth and yawning until I found a couple of pieces of bunny fluff and a single dandelion leaf with blood on it.

I felt horrible that J had to deal with that first thing in the morning. I wish I’d been awake so I could’ve helped her out. Even better, I wish I’d seen it when I’d heard it so I could’ve gone and cleaned it up before the morning. Next time I hear screaming outside, I’ll go outside with a flashlight or something. Blugh…

While I was outside looking for bunny bits, I noticed that the lawn still smelled of chemicals and, even better, the dandelions were already starting to wilt. I’m a little concerned that once the dandelions die our yard will just be a dirt patch, but that’s nothing some grass seed and watering won’t fix.

Dying Dandelions


It was very nice out today, so after I had something to eat and finished my morning routine, I went for my walk and then went out into the back yard and planted the rest of the garden. A couple of rows of onions and some carrots along with the potatoes. I fixed up the anti-bunny fence (one less now that we have to worry about, I suppose), and sat out on the deck steps until the neighbour’s yippy little dog irritated me enough to go back inside.

I spent a lot of time tinkering again today and, after hitting a brick wall for a few hours, I made some good progress. Turned out I was missing a single letter (it happened to be a “P”) from a single line in the program so all I saw on the display was garbage instead of what it was supposed to be showing. That’s part of the fun, though.

The rope I was looking for to secure my little under-table pedal machine to my chair was out in the garage, so I grabbed it while I was outside. I looked at it and figured that it would be a good idea to have some sort of easy-release mechanism so I found a carabiner clip. Then I thought it would be tough to get the rope the perfect length (because I don’t know what that is yet), so there should be a way to adjust the length without redoing knots. Half-remembered lessons of how to tie a sheepshank knot fluttered around in my head until it hit me – a turnbuckle would be perfect. So I spent a little while drawing one up and started it printing. Hopefully it’ll work out.

I had more trouble with ghosts today than what’s been usual lately. The gate was unlocked but I had the windows open and between stuff going on outside and the sounds the house makes now that it’s getting warm, I was wandering around the house far more than I’d hoped to be. I think our hot water tank is getting long in the tooth, too – it’s making some weird “pop” sounds when it’s heating, and they’re loud enough to hear upstairs with the windows open and the music on.

J texted me to say she was leaving work soon and suggested perogies for supper. I happened to be thinking the exact same thing, so I put on some water and did up our last two dozen handmade perogies from one of the local churches.

Now… those of you who know me should probably sit down before going much further. Normally, I’d cook up some smokies or something like that to go with the perogies, but today I had a different idea. My dad and I were talking a while ago and he mentioned “mushy peas”. I remembered what he’d said and, deciding to not bother actually looking up a recipe, I made probably close to a pound of mangled peas to go with supper. Yes, peas – the little green spheres that come from plants! Check this out:

Perogies and PeasWhile they were cooking, the smell changed from peas (ewww) to… something sweet? Anyway, I really liked them and I’d happily eat another plateful of them. I’m not 100% sure what J thought of them – she didn’t seem to thrilled at the start but told me later she liked them – but I think I’m going to make them again.

This evening we hung out, ignored scam/telemarketer/political/survey phone calls, and watched another episode of Blue Planet II. It was pretty good again, although I will say that bobbit worms are utterly horrifying creatures. I don’t care how many hundreds of millions of years they’ve been around – someone (much braver than me) needs to gather them all up and toss them in a dumpster full of boiling salt. Gaaaah.

I don’t have any appointments tomorrow but I have some stuff I’m hoping to get done around the house. It would be very nice if the tree folks showed up tomorrow to get rid of the stump so I can lock the gate again and not worry about it. I’m going to try to leave it unlocked again tonight. Hopefully there won’t be any screaming. We’ll see how it goes.

Stay safe.

Things Went Well

Song: “If You Wanna Talk Berry” by Strawberry Shortcake (ehurrrrghhhhhhh)

Mood: 7.5

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

Well, it’s already way too late. I should really start in on these earlier…

I slept pretty well last night. I was worried about stuff four or five times but I only needed to look at my phone so I didn’t have to get out of bed.

J dropped the truck off at the dealership this morning and sent me a text letting me know everything had gone well and she had made it to work.

With our front and back yards looking more like mustard field than lawn, a few days ago J and I finally threw in the towel and hired a lawn service. I had briefly considered going out in the middle of the night and using the dandelion picker to transplant all of the dandelions on our lawn to our neighbour’s (he spends a lot of time working on his lawn), but I didn’t want to dig up 38397225 dandelions (at last count) once, nevermind twice. Anyway, I wasn’t sure if the lawn service had been by but I wandered into the bathroom where the window was open and got hit by a big disgusting wall of chemical smell. Normally that would bother me but this morning I smiled at the thought of the dandelions withering and dying under the chemical onslaught.

Two more parcels arrived today so I have another bag of interesting stuff to play with. Lots to do, and I kept quite busy. I almost lost track of time but I looked at the clock in time to get ready for my Dr C appointment.

The appointment was less draining and difficult than a lot of them have been. I was able to concentrate a lot more on what we were talking about, and I think I actually looked up a few times. We’re still working on the memory confidence stuff. I’m not sure how it will turn out but even if it provides a small amount of leverage against the OCD, it’ll be worth the time.

Before the appointment, out of the corner of my eye, I could see one of the other patients in the waiting room looking at me. I glanced over at him and he looked… familiar. Like someone I may have barely known from work. It was a little unsettling but it only lasted a couple of minutes before Dr C came out to get me.

Once my appointment was done, I took a cab to the dealership where the truck was sitting after the successful airbag recall work was done. I went in the wrong door but one of the sales people flitted over and helped me find where I was supposed to be. I asked the service guy how the work had gone and if there’d been any problems. He looked at his screen and said, “nope, it was fine. It’s a really nice truck.” That was nice and it put a smile on my face as he gave me the key and pointed to where the truck was sitting.

I thanked him and wandered out to the lot, where my little truck was parked between two behemoths, right in front of the $@^% giant propane tank. The truck started right up, the air conditioning kicked in, and I slowly and carefully backed out of the spot, avoiding the propane tank and its guardian cement pillars. Once we were rolling forward, though, things were fine. Traffic was nice and light, and the dealership isn’t far from home. I even got lucky and caught green lights (and a left turn light!) all the way.

J had class after work today so she wasn’t home until later in the evening. I got lazy and had some yogurt and granola for supper, then puttered around with various electronic-y stuff and pedalled my little bicycle thing until my sweetie got home. We hung out and talked about our days and how everything had gone, and then did some of our own stuff for a while. It was too late for us to watch a show, but we’ll watch one tomorrow for sure.

The tree removal company is supposed to be back to grind the stump in the back yard, maybe even tomorrow. I have left the gate unlocked and will see if I can get to sleep knowing that it’s unlocked. If I have to go outside and lock it, it’s not the end of the world. Anytime is a good time for ERP, I suppose…

I have no appointments tomorrow or Thursday and it’s supposed to get up close to 30C. Aside from my usual tinkering/puttering, I am going to spend some time mucking about in the garden and enjoying the fresh air. Maybe I’ll have lunch outside, who knows?

Stay safe.

Super Geek-Out Session

Song: “A Little Respect” by Erasure

Mood: 7.5

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Several

So, FA’s scheduled visit last Friday didn’t work out, but we rescheduled for this morning. I had pretty much everything ready yesterday evening, which turned out to be a really good thing because I slept through both of my alarms and woke up 45 minutes before she was due to arrive. Fortunately, it doesn’t take me very long to get prettied up so I was pretty much ready when she showed up.

She brought an incredible amount of stuff with her – bags, boxes, and a giant toolbox/drawer, all filled with fancy electronics stuff. I won’t go too much into it here, but we spent the next six hours or so swapping ideas, joking around, and puttering with some really interesting/neat/fun stuff. Oh, and we fit in our traditional burrito lunch, too. Now I’m wondering what we used to have for lunch before the burrito shop was there. Hmm…

Anyway, I think a good way to sum up today is to consider the following points:

  • There is a set of defibrillator pads on the dining room table,
  • There are a bunch of little baggies with weird chips and microcontrollers all over the place,
  • The muscles that I use to smile are sore,
  • FA got to irritate DM with an Arduino when she got home (heh), and
  • When J got home she slowly and patiently asked us why there was wire leading out the front door and onto the lawn.

It was a great time, and I’m looking forward to hanging out with her again. We’ve known each other long enough that we can do anything from sitting around and talking to being up to our elbows in dirt, trying to get something working, and it’s always fun. Or at least interesting!

This evening, J and I hung out, had supper, and talked about our days. I was happy to hear that her day went well because there’s some crappy stuff going on where she works and starting the week off with a bad day sucks. I played around with some more electronics stuff while J did her usual rounds of the Internet and did some art stuff, and then we went downstairs to watch an episode of Blue Planet II. I think we just finished the 2nd episode and it has been another good show so far. Same narrator (David Attenborough), same calibre of footage and fascinating stuff as Our Planet. We watched an episode of One Strange Rock and haven’t watched another one yet – maybe we’ll get back to it but neither of us felt strongly about continuing.

Tomorrow, J is taking the truck to the dealership in the morning to get the murderbags replaced with airbags. I have a Dr C appointment in the afternoon and I will then take a cab to the dealership and drive the truck home. It’s not far, and it’ll be in the middle of the afternoon so there shouldn’t be much traffic. Plus, I will have JUST had a session with my therapist. Everything will be fine.

Stay safe.

Time Is Galloping By

Song: “Walter, Walter, (Lead Me To The Altar)” by Gracie Fields

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Horde

It’s already quarter to one in the morning and I have no idea where the entire day went. I wasn’t zoned out or anything, it’s just that everything I worked on either took longer than I was expecting, or it sent me off on a wild goose chase in some random direction that could take hours before I got back to where I was. So… bullet points it is.

  • The only things I noticed last night that may (or may not) be due to my quetiapine reduction were that it took quite a bit longer to get to sleep, I’ve had a weird headache where my eyes feel like they’re not fully attached all day today, and I got flustered a lot easier today, too. Not bad, and what I’m experiencing may not have anything to do with the reduction at all.
  • It sounds like FA is coming over tomorrow afternoon and there will be some serious geeking-out going on when she gets here. I’ve got a bunch of stuff I’d like to show her and she’s bringing over a bunch of stuff too. It’ll be interesting and fun!
  • I spent some time outside and planted the pepper plant out on the deck. Fresh air and sunlight will be good for it.
  • Killed whatever was living in the drain but it started to come back after the dishwasher ran. Looks like I need to do something about the dishwasher drain hose.
  • Saw the trailer for the new Star Trek show – Picard. It’s definitely got my attention. I still haven’t seen any episodes of Discovery yet. Hopefully it comes out on disc or ends up on a service that I’m actually already subscribing to.
  • Worked on cleaning up the kitchen today. Made great progress. Took out the word processor to shred five pounds of cheese. It took 90 seconds but the kitchen now looks worse than it did first thing this morning. I cannot $@($#&* believe it.
  • Took the plunge, opened a ticket with my hosting provider, and I now have a new domain and very, very fancy website with nothing on it.
  • I’ve been looking to set up a standing or treadmill/stepper desk but they just weren’t practical for the spaces and purposes I had. So, I ordered one of those under-table bikes and it arrived today. Didn’t take long to install and it actually looks like it’s going to do the job. There are a few kinks I have to work out but otherwise I think it’s going to work very well.
  • J and I watched the “behind the scenes” episode of Our Planet. I had assumed that some of their shots were staged or used trained animals, but it took them FOUR YEARS to get the footage, the crews had to work for long periods in anywhere from difficult to intolerable conditions, and some of the stuff they were hoping to get didn’t even work out. I’m very impressed with that show – so much amazing stuff. I highly recommend it.

So tonight is night two with the lowered quetiapine. Hopefully I’ll be able to get to sleep faster tonight and be awake and coherent early enough in the morning that I can have the house whipped into shape for when FA arrives.

Stay safe.


Song: “Fun, Fun, Fun” by The Beach Boys

Mood: 7

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

Today was one of those days where I’m not sure where it went. It was very dark and gloomy this morning, and around mid-morning it started to rain. Drizzle at first, then a steady but light rain for most of the rest of the day. Cool and damp. I still wore shorts, though!

I went through my morning routine, had breakfast, and sent out a round of texts, then put on some music and started puttering around the house again. I thought today was Thursday so I was a little concerned that I wouldn’t get all of the printing that I want done for Friday, but it’s going to work out.

I spent some time tidying things up around the house (good gawd there’s something stinky growing in the kitchen sink drain pipe) and did up a couple of lists. I did an online grocery order last night so I checked it again this morning to make sure it still looked good.

Then I got to tinkering again. I had to chase some ghosts today but it wasn’t as bad as some of the other days recently have been. Most of the stuff I’ve been tinkering with can sit for a while with no problems, too, so even though I was standing in the basement trying to figure out where a particular sound was coming from, the thing I was working on would still be there when I got back.

A couple more parcels came today. I now have more shirts, whoo!

So, today’s big news – I had an appointment with Dr W and we have officially started reducing my medications! We talked about it for a while today and I decided I was okay with taking the plunge. First up is the quetiapine, which tonight I’m taking 300mg of (down from 400mg). This represents not just a lower dose, but the lowest dose of this drug that I’ve been on since I was started on it in 2016. We will see how things go over the next few days but I hope that this is the beginning of a new trend.

Aside from the big news, the appointment was a long one. Usually they go for about five to ten minutes, but today was about 40. I had some questions for Dr W and he had a lot of questions for me. He was pleased to hear that I’m playing around with stuff I’ve been afraid to touch since I bought it 15 years ago, and he encouraged me to keep going. He is a staunch proponent of using physical and mental activity to help treat mental illness, and he is very encouraging when it comes to activity (sitting is better than laying down, listening to music is better than staring at a wall, walking is better than standing… that sort of thing).

I also asked him what he thought about me doing some more writing/blogging and told him my concerns. His response was pretty much exactly what Dr C said. He told me that he very strongly encouraged me to do it, and that I should try not to worry about my insurance being cancelled. I have his support and if anything happens with my coverage, he will contact the company. So… I’m still a little wary about it but I think I’m going to give it a try. J and I talked about it a little while and, as usual, she had some very down to earth, common sense thoughts on the matter.

This evening J and I were both so occupied with the things we were doing that we lost track of the time, so no TV show tonight. It’s still nice to just be in the same room as she is, though. She brightens up the room and makes the world a better place just by being around. I’m a very lucky fellow.

I texted a bit with FA and she might be coming over Friday afternoon. That’ll be fun, I would like to show her some of this stuff I’ve been working on, and she’s always got good stories and/or capers up her sleeve.

Tomorrow is Thursday, and I don’t have any appointments. I plan to get a bunch more stuff done around the house, do some more cleaning, figure out what’s growing in the kitchen sink and kill it… that sort of thing.

I think tonight is going to be a good night. Fingers crossed!

Stay safe.

Getting Ready To Send The Parcel

Song: “The Happening” by The Supremes

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 0

Ghosts: Lots

It looks like that great sleep I had the other day was an anomaly – I haven’t slept nearly as well since. Not a big deal, and if I sleep really well, say, once or twice a year, I can handle that.

Today was another busy day. I’ve been making some stuff for my nephews for months now, and every time I give myself a deadline for when to send the parcel, it passes by because I keep thinking of something else I should make them or I’m worried they will think it’s all garbage. I have now set this Friday as the day the parcel will be going out, and now I’ve put it here so if I renege again, the four of you who actually read this site will know. I have been working on some lithophanes for the frames that I made last week (which I’m still quite happy with), and I want to print them both up a claw gripper thing, but that’ll be the end of it. If it turns out they like the stuff, I can always make another batch later.

While the printer has been whirring away in the basement, I’ve been keeping quite busy. I started in on the garden this past weekend and planted the potatoes; if the weather looks good I will put the rest in later this week or maybe over the weekend. It’s a tiny little garden so it’s not a huge effort, but it’s still something on my list.

I’ve also been steadily going through my stash of electronics parts and have made good progress. Some stuff is in the junk bucket, but what’s surprising me is how much stuff I’m actually able to get working. Some of it I’ve had for a very long time, some of it for not as long, but so much of it actually works. It makes me happy when something lights up or beeps or moves like it’s supposed to, but at the same time it bums be out a bit because I can’t help but think of all the time I wasted sitting at my workbench and staring at these things but being unable to hook them up (or even unwrap them).

I’ve been thinking about setting up another blog. There’s nothing wrong with this one (it will always be my main blog), but the thought of writing up some of the things I do during the day (like the electronics or the microscope for example) is appealing to me. Dr C and Dr W have told me repeatedly that keeping busy with hobbies is very important, and the more, the merrier. I also like the idea of posting things that I’ve figured out (some of the electronics stuff has taken several days because there aren’t any datasheets for it out there anymore) because it might help someone else, too.

What keeps me from trying something like this, though, is that I’m afraid that my insurance company may look at it and say, “Look – he’s playing with computers again! We can stop paying him now!” This scares the hell out of me, and before you tell me I’m overreacting, take a look at this:

See what I mean? There was another one about a cancer patient getting cut off that came out in the last month or two but I can’t find it right now.

I asked Dr C at my appointment today if she still thinks I should go about doing this kind of thing and she is certain I should. She’s reluctant to provide me with written instruction, though, because she is concerned that this may be another facet of my OCD shining through. She is, however, willing to communicate with my insurance company that this is stuff that I should be doing. I see where she’s coming from about the OCD, but I’m pretty sure that the company is more inclined to just cancel things and have J and me and Dr C and Dr W jump through a million hoops again to restart it. So I don’t know. I’m going to talk to Dr W about it (I have an appointment with him tomorrow), and I’ll see what he says. It will probably be something similar to what Dr C said.

I just really, REALLY don’t want to screw everything up again. I wish someone would tell me what to do.

Stay safe.

A Good Sleep

I think I slept better last night than I have in five or maybe even more years. I went to bed far too late and woke up only about half an hour ago, but I slept for a solid nine hours. No nightmares and I don’t even remember waking up for any reason. No worries, no bathroom breaks, nothing!

It would be great if this is the harbinger of something new. A good sleep like this once or twice a week would be wonderful!

Stay safe.