Lots Of Thinking

Song: “Get Over You” by The Undertones

Mood: 5

Nightmares: 0

Sorry, my pills are kicking the heck out of me this evening so I can’t focus my eyes properly. Going to be a short post, I think.

Another less than stellar sleep last night. I can remember waking up at least five times, worrying about things that were either all okay or things that I had absolutely no control over. It gets frustrating.

My walk went pretty well. Almost lost my hat because of the wind a few times. I went out early, so I missed the heat that came later in the day.

My exercises went pretty well today. The mindfulness went much better than I’d hoped, and the time I spent meditating (with the biofeedback headband) and worrying went well, too.

I sent out my batch of daily texts and then sat down to do more thinking about the stuff I’ve learned at my sessions over the past two weeks. It still boggles my mind that most people don’t worry about (or even think about) the stuff that I can’t ignore. I’m also thinking very hard about the prospect of moving ahead with the ACT and learning to accept that the audience in my head and all of the worries and catastrophising will be with me for the rest of my life. That is not appealing – actually, it’s a pretty frightening scenario.

My folks called today. I spoke to my mom first and had a good chat with her before she handed the phone to Dad, who is having some trouble with his well pump. Of course there are no numbers on the pump that match up with anything on the company’s website. I found an old product list, though, and from the pictures Dad sent, I think I figured out what it was. Then I had to do some more sleuthing to find out where the company was located (or whether it even existed anymore). Finally, after a bunch of searching and calling a company, I had found a part list and contact information for the pump. Mom texted me a little later on and said Dad was going at the pump with great gusto, so hopefully he finds the problem and gets it running well again!

I listened to a lot of records today. I cleared off the comfy chair in front of the record player, cranked the amplifier up, sat back with my writing stuff, and let the music wash over me as I thought furiously about the last two weeks. My emotions about this stuff run the gamut, from acceptance, to anger, to disbelief, disenchantment, betrayal, hopelessness, fear, jealousy… all sort of stuff.

I don’t know what I’m going to to. I think I’m going to be working on this stuff again tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me that I figure out what the heck I need to do.

Stay safe.

Mixed Messages

Song: N/A

Mood: 5

Nightmares: 0

I stayed up too late last night, woke up too many times, and got up too early this morning, so I’ve been pretty tired today.

I didn’t go for a walk this morning because my butt still hurts and I had an appointment this afternoon.

My exercises didn’t go all that well; I kept losing focus and started on the way to falling asleep a lot. After an hour or so, I gave up and put on music while I sat there with my eyes closed, thinking.

I spent most of my day thinking. I sent off a set of really short texts and then sat on the chesterfield in the living room and thought about the things that Dr P and I have talked about our past two sessions, most particularly my realization that other people don’t constantly think about things that bother them, and whether I will have to get used to dealing with this level of discomfort/distraction/embarrassment/disability for the rest of my life.

Time to be blunt here – I do not want to go through the rest of my life living like that. Five years, ten years, thirty years ago, I was able to grit my teeth and force my way through everything; for whatever reason, that is no longer an option. I don’t understand why, and that is very frustrating. I understand that some things may not have gone as well as we’d hoped but I can’t accept that my next step is to just accept that my OCD, anxiety, panic, and depression symptoms are going to be this powerful and this un-ignorable for the rest of my life. I can’t.

THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING I CAN DO.

Are there any other therapies or drug combinations out there I can try? Are there any therapies that I’ve done before and should revisit? I can’t be stuck like this.

I had my Dr W appointment this afternoon and I REALLY didn’t want to go. J picked me up, though, and we made it through the construction a little early so we sat in the cafeteria area for a bit before going over to the outpatient psych area. It was quite cool out again today and J had the AC on in the car but it wasn’t enough to stop the flop sweat from beading on my head and soaking the back of my shirt.

My appointment with Dr W was unpleasant. I find it difficult to talk about some of this stuff, and I don’t think Dr W is happy with how and what I’m doing right now, either. He took notes while he listened to me stumble over myself and only asked a couple of questions while I was talking. After I was done, he said that from what he knows, ERP is the gold standard for treating OCD, and he encouraged me to mention ERP again to Dr P. This puts me in a bit of a bind as it’s contrary to what I’m working on with Dr P. I’m not sure what I should do about that – I mean, I did ERP with Dr P and Dr C but with both of them we eventually moved on. So now I’m worried about that, too.

I feel very overwhelmed right now, and the really stupid thing is that I STILL have enough brain cells available to hear, smell, or see weird things that send me on ghost hunts. It’s not fair.

Stay safe.

Not Very Happy Right Now

Song: N/A

Mood: 4.5

Nightmares: 0

I realized that I’d forgotten to take my pills last night just as J and I were heading downstairs to watch some shows. It was a little over an hour late, so it wasn’t the end of the world but it bothered me a lot that I’d forgotten (I even have an alarm set!) so it was a long time before I fell asleep. Fortunately, I don’t remember waking up from any nightmares last night, but I did wake up worrying about things (including, bizarrely, if my stick welder was plugged in and turned on) quite a few times.

This morning I got up and did my exercises. I used that biofeedback headband that my dad let me borrow for the second half of my mindfulness and meditation time and it was pretty interesting. I’m still not sure if it’s reading brainwaves of muscle activity but the bottom line is if I’m relaxed and not moving, I hear birds, while if I’m thinking of anything, like playing a song in my head, the birds go away and the rain returns. It’s interesting but I’m not sure if it’ll be useful in the long run. We’ll see.

I spent some more time writing today. Nothing too exciting and I certainly didn’t accomplish much but it felt like the right thing to do. I did some more puttering around the house and looked up some stuff that had been floating around in my head. I sent out my texts and – get this – didn’t go through my text history! Well, not right away, at least. Once I got a couple of texts back I couldn’t help but go through the threads again to make sure I hadn’t said anything stupid or offensive.

I took a cab to my appointment this afternoon. The cab showed up a couple of minutes before I was ready and I scrambled to find my wallet, and forgot my finger ring fidget thing. It was quite cool out today; despite that, the flop sweat came out in full force once I left the house. The driver was friendly and we talked a bit.

Once I arrived, I went to the washroom near the offices and used some damp paper towels to try and cool myself off or convince whatever part of my brain is responsible for sweating that it could stop. No luck. I went to the waiting room. Someone was sitting in the chair beside the chair I use. I would’ve felt dumb sitting there when it was only the two of us in the room so I argued with myself for a minute and then sat down on the couch. I spoke briefly with the staff there before excusing myself and heading back to the washroom to try and do some grounding by running water over my hands. It helped a little bit and when I got back, the person who had been sitting there was gone so I moved my chair back into place and sat down.

The appointment was difficult. The main thrust of the work today was going over the various activities, therapies, and medications I’ve used, and how useful they’ve been both in short and long terms. Quite a few of them have been helpful in the short term, but it seems like I don’t have a lot of luck with maintaining my progress as time goes on. After we examined and discussed the list he drew, he turned the conversation more toward how would I feel if the thoughts and worries were always there – what if there is no way to get rid of them? What would my life be like if I just said, “Well, what I’m thinking is what I’m thinking and what I’m worrying about it what I’m worried about. Big deal – I’ve got other stuff to do”?

I don’t know the answer to that question. I USED to be able to brush this stuff off, but I have yet to find which fuse I need to replace to be able to do that again. What if I can’t? What if this is just how things are going to be from now on?

I’ve felt very anxious and overwhelmed by a lot of my therapy sessions, but I think today’s was the first one that left me feeling pretty low. I’m worried that Dr P is preparing me so he can tell me there’s nothing further he can do to help and now I need to learn to live with it. I wanted to ask him today but was too afraid of what the answer might be.

I’ve put so much effort into my recovery: months in the hospital, 27 months of appointments and medication adjustments with Dr W, 120+ therapy sessions, not to mention the thousands upon thousands of hours I’ve spent at home working on prescribed activities and exercises. All the mindfulness work I’ve been doing, and how much I’ve been trying to work it into aspects of my life. All the horrible walks I force myself to do, all of the times I’ve fought the urge to grab a couple of PRNs and did grounding and breathing instead, and all of the books or online resources that I’ve been directed to and pored over, finding myself reflected in so many of them.

Over two and a half years’ worth of work, almost all of which sat on the spectrum between “unpleasant” and “REALLY #(@$&^! UNPLEASANT”. It has to pay off somehow. This can’t be what I’ve got to look forward to for the rest of my life. I’m not sure what to do about this right now. I need to think.

In another thing that should’ve been funny but ended up shaking me, I was walking down the basement corridors of the building after my appointment with my head down, thinking very hard about what had just gone on in the session. As I rounded a corner and took a couple of steps down the hall, I caught a glimpse of a man in work gear lurking behind one of the doors, staring at me. I jumped, almost dropped my notebook, and cursed. Then I cursed again when I got another look at the guy:

Staring At Me...So stupid, I know, but it left me shaken. Then, this evening, I found out that the pharmacy missed one of my prescriptions when they did refills last week (yes, I know I should check every time but this time I didn’t). I could feel my chest tightening, like a full-on freakout was coming. Fortunately, I still have a couple of days’ worth of pills for that one prescription. I called the pharmacy and used the auto-refill system and they should be ready tomorrow afternoon. The whole thing left me rattled, though (got that word from J, she asked me if I was okay because I looked rattled), and I ended up taking a couple of PRNs so I wouldn’t ruin the rest of the evening.

So… that’s where I am right now. Way past my bedtime, feeling twitchy, and really really worried that there’s nothing more that can be done for me and we’re throwing all of the time and effort and learning away. Oh Lord I hope I’m wrong.

Oh, and I got a text from DA. He’s found a bunch of pre-built stuff for the monitoring he wants to do. So, it looks like I won’t have that project to work on and collaborate over.

I have a Dr W appointment tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know if I’m up to it right now.

Someone tell me that all of this stuff hasn’t been for nothing…

Stay safe.

Nightmares. Wonderful.

Song: “Rock And Roll Party Mix” by Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 3+

So last night was a little rough. More nightmares, one panic attack, and not a lot of sleep. Still no variety – last night’s theme was dead people in life jackets mixed with a bit of dead people in a tent. Why can’t I have nightmares about things that used to scare me, like volcanoes or those big-eyed aliens like the one on the cover of Communion. So far in my life it’s the only book I had to tape paper over the cover before I could pick it up and read it. Hmm… I wonder if I still have it.

I couldn’t get back to sleep after J left for work, but I stayed in bed and thought for a while, mostly about what I could do to be useful for people.

Interesting coincidence… I just got some texts from DA telling me that he wants to set up some electronic perimeter monitoring at his cabin. While he’s there (particularly at night) he wants an audible alert that indicates a gate has been opened, and he wants them in a couple of spots. This is good, because it’s something I can do at home and hand it over to him when it’s finished. It’s been forever since I blew the dust off my electronics bench and I’m sure I’ve forgotten even more than the 90% of electronics knowledge I’ve already lost. So I guess I’ll be able to give DA a hand with that stuff again.

Anyway, I went out for my walk this morning without consulting the thermometer first. I got outside and it was BRISK out there. I shuffled around the block a little quicker than normal but I survived.

My exercises didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. There was still some residue left on my brain from the nightmares, and I couldn’t go for very long without my mind wandering back to them again. Still, I put in the time and it helped again.

Early lunch was banana yogurt and a cinnamon and raisin bagel. I’ve never had banana flavoured yogurt before; I was expecting some weird chemical taste but it was mild and pleasant. I do enjoy yogurt (and bagels too)!

I spent over three hours today working on the post that I put up earlier today. It went slow for two main reasons: I was frequently interrupted and had to chase ghosts around the house, and when I was in front of the keyboard I agonized over words, grammar, phrasing, all kinds of stuff. It would be nice if what I wrote was useful to someone, but I mainly write for me. What I don’t want to do is make someone upset when they read what I wrote.

Well, it’s after midnight again so I should probably stop here. This is not good and I need to get to bed earlier. Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr P. Once again, I’m not really looking forward to it but that’s all part of the process. I also now have a project for DA that I can start thinking about. Cool.

Hopefully last night was an outlier and I won’t have any more nightmares for a long time. Wish me luck!

Stay safe.

Healthcare Visit Template

I do not like having to go to the doctor. I am very lucky that Dr H is a fantastic GP, but I find appointments are difficult for a few of reasons, some of which are:

  • It’s very difficult to leave the house,
  • I don’t like talking to people about my problems,
  • I have trouble remembering things,
  • I know they’re professionals but appointments can be embarrassing,
  • I don’t like other people touching me, and
  • All I want to do is get out of there and be back home.

Before I went to the walk-in a couple of weeks ago, I was worried that I was going to be sitting there, fishing for words or trying to remember a relevant, important point. So, the night before I went to the clinic, I sat down and typed out a page of information so I had something I could either read from or pass to the clinician.

It helped me because I didn’t need to worry that I’d forgotten something and it was a lot easier to type out the embarrassing stuff beforehand. Maybe it will help you.

Here are ready-to-print copies Healthcare Visit Template (pdf) and Healthcare Visit Template (doc).

Here’s an example of how I’d fill one out:

Template SampleLike it says at the bottom of the document, please feel free to modify it to fit your needs – everyone is different and what works for me may not work for you.

Feel free to drop me a comment and let me know if you think of a way I can improve the template!

Stay safe.

Getting Ready For Monday

Song: “Johnny B Rotten” by The Monks

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Once again, the weekend went by far too quickly.

J and I spent a lot of it hanging out and talking. We talked about all kinds of stuff – work, groceries, brain stuff… tons of things. One of the things I think is really neat is that we have been married for, uh… more than 15 years, yet we still have new and interesting things to talk about all the time. I figure that’s a good thing.

I didn’t accomplish an awful lot this weekend. I tidied up the kitchen again and put in another order for groceries that J picked up while she was out today. J spent the better part of yesterday evening giving the aquarium a really good cleaning, including fresh gravel. The fish and shrimp look a little confused right now but I think they’ll be fine.

DA sent me a text the other day asking if I could give him a hand with the gate at his cabin this weekend but I had to say no. I really don’t like not being able to help, and I feel bad about declining. We used to hang out a lot but since I got sick I haven’t seen him very much. I enjoy helping him plan and build/fix/etc things out in the woods, and we used to go out there and work on stuff fairly often. The last time I was out there was well over a year ago, and I had a lot of trouble with panic when some storms blew through overnight.

Now that I’m thinking about that, it has occurred to me that back then I was at least able to go out to DA’s cabin. Nowadays I’m still having trouble going to the grocery store down the street. Anybody who I want to see (or who wants to see me) has to come here instead of me going there. I can’t give anybody a hand with anything. It’s embarrassing and frustrating.

My mom keeps saying that she can tell the difference and that I’m getting better. When Dad was here a few days ago, he said a couple of times that he could see some of the “old Mark”. I hope they’re right – it would be wonderful if things were coming together and I could start being useful and helping people out again. I know this sounds dumb, but I would really like to be able to take another load of old carpet to the dump with the neighbour, or stomp through the bush to pull down dead trees to cut up for firewood, or be out for a walk after a heavy snow and help someone push their car out of a drift.

I keep trying to think of things I can do from home that’d be useful but I haven’t had a lot of luck. There must be something out there that I can unleash my encyclopedic knowledge (bwahaha) and staggering intellect (BWAHAHAHAAA) on. I think I’m going to sit down with a pen and paper tomorrow and do some thinking. But now… I should get to bed.

It’s raining outside. That’s great – things are pretty parched around here.

Stay safe.

Tired But A Good Day

Song: N/A

Mood: 6

Nightmares: 0

Whether it was because I was too tired or because J was home and I am more comfortable with her around, I actually slept last night. I woke up a couple of times but it wasn’t too bad, and I finally dragged myself out of bed at – get this – 11:15 this morning. I’d been awake for a while before I finally got up, but that was way longer than I usually spend in bed. Unfortunately, I’m still dragging a bit.

Having J back home is great! We hung out and talked a lot. She gave me the lowdown on how everything went and what she learned and what a good time she had. It was wonderful to be able to sit down and just hang out again. I’m also really glad that she took today off!

Other than that, not a lot of excitement around here. I guess this is going to be a short post, but I think that’s okay every once in a while.

Stay safe.

Yesterday Was A Good Day

Song: N/A

Mood: 6.5

Nightmares: 0

Yesterday was a good day. I only woke up a couple of times overnight, Dad came out for the day, and J got home last night.

I was a little anxious when I got up this morning. I know Dad is family but we don’t often have guests and I wanted to make sure things went well. I did a bit more tidying and took some PRNs just to be on the safe side.

Dad got here around noon. He brought along a biofeedback headband that he wasn’t using anymore and wondered if it would be helpful for me. We spent some time setting it up and played around with it for a while. It looks very interesting – I am looking forward to trying it out.

We talked for a while and then walked to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for lunch (I’d used up the last of my ham on the mini pizzas the night before). Lunch was sandwiches (with homemade buns – thanks Mom!) and Doritos, with blueberry muffins for dessert (thanks again Mom!).

After lunch we kept on talking. We talked about all kinds of things. Some serious, some interesting, some funny… all kinds of stuff, then took a look at his phone and downloaded the albums that he’d bought but weren’t showing up for some reason.

We ordered a pizza for supper, devoured it, and went back to talking and poking at his phone, trying to get everything where it should be. We talked through the whole thing, too.

Before we knew it, it was 7:30PM and Dad had to hit the road. I was shocked at the time and sad that he had to leave, but I had a good time and I think he did too. I waved and watched him drive out of sight and then went back inside.

Dad, if you read this – thanks for coming out! I had a good time and I hope we can do it again soon! Mom, if you read this – thanks for the buns and muffins and I hope you come out sometime soon too!

It turned out that I didn’t need any more PRNs throughout the day, and now that I think about it some more, I feel kind of silly for taking the ones in the morning. There were no plans, no bad news or anything, just a good time where we talked the roof off and enjoyed hanging out.

After Dad left, I kept the phones near so I could hear any updates from J on her trip home. Once again, everything went really well, and she got home around 1AM.

IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE HER AGAIN!

I was happy and relieved when she came in the door. I gave her a big hug and after she got sorted out we sat down and she told me about her trip. We didn’t talk for too long – my eyelids started to droop after a while and she had been up for something like 19 hours – but it was wonderful being able to chat face to face. I know I said a couple of posts ago that the video chats are fantastic, but nothing beats being there in person!

So… yesterday went pretty well. Everything went perfectly, I had a great time with Dad, and my sweetie got home! Doesn’t get much better than that.

Stay safe.

Something Significant In The Session Today

Song: “The Circus Bee” by Henry Fillmore

Mood: 5.5

Nightmares: 0

For whatever reason, yesterday and today have been kind of a blur. I’ve missed out on a couple of things – sending texts, putting up posts, all kinds of stuff. Sorry about that.

Yesterday was a decent day. I didn’t sleep well again (surprise) but it could’ve been worse. I spent most of the morning cleaning the kitchen. It really needed it and when it was done I was pleased with the result. FA came over for lunch (she brought delicious burritos from the local shop) and we had a good chat again. She is very busy right now so I really appreciate that she took some time to hang out. She’s coming over on Monday again, too!

J and I did video chats yesterday and today. She is having a really good time on her work trip. She’s learning a lot and meeting tons of people who up until now have only been voices on a teleconference or names in an email. She will be back late tomorrow night and I will be very happy when she gets home. I miss her an awful lot – the house isn’t the same when she’s not around. She has Friday off to recover after her trip and it will be fantastic to hang out with her and listen to stories from her trip. I have to say that even though I don’t like the privacy problems they present, I really like that we live in an age where we have smartphones and video chats. I remember being at summer camp when I was a kid and keeping in touch with people by writing them honest-to-God paper letters and calling my folks collect once a week on a payphone. Tapping a couple of buttons and seeing someone’s face in real time… it’s like what the scientists in the 1960s said the 1980s would be like. Just better.

Supper last night was hamburgers and… something. I can’t remember what it was. Doesn’t matter. I know that means I had burgers two days in a row but they come in packs of four and I cooked up all four on Monday. Supper this evening was mini pizzas made on naan bread, and they were delightful:

Homemade Mini PizzasA strange thing happened Monday night. I was collecting the recycling in the kitchen and I thought I heard voices. I stopped right where I was and listened but I couldn’t hear them anymore. A minute or so later, I heard them again, then they stopped. I couldn’t hear them well enough to tell what they were saying, but it was a sound that my brain immediately filed under “human voice”. I wandered around the house, trying to figure out where it was coming from. I’d hear it again, then nothing. I looked out the front blinds – nobody in the street. Then I was worried that someone was trying to break into the car or garage but I didn’t see anyone there, either. Finally I threw up my arms in frustration and grabbed the bag of recycling to take out to the bin. Once I got to the bins (they’re behind the house by the gate), I heard the voices again but much clearer. I looked up and saw that my neighbour had a bunch of friends over and had hung a sheet on her back fence, on which she was playing a movie. That’s what I’d been hearing. On one hand, I was relived – I wasn’t completely losing my mind, but on the other hand I felt silly that I’d been winding myself up over something as simple and innocent as that.

Last night I was pretty tired. After J and I had our video chat, I took my evening medication and then went downstairs. I had originally planned to watch some shows but ended up putting on some music instead. To my surprise, I fell asleep on the couch for a while. This evening I tried to do it again but instead of falling asleep, I kept doing that “falling asleep… falling asleep… falling as-BAMP wide awake again” thing. It still felt pretty good to sit there listening to music, though. After I got up I thought I’d write this post (especially since I didn’t do one yesterday) and when I’m done, I’m going to wind down and head to bed.

I had my Dr P appointment this afternoon. J’s aunt had texted me on Monday and offered to take me to my appointment. I was very grateful for the offer but felt bad about it – it’s out of her way and I didn’t want to cause her any trouble. She insisted that it wasn’t inconveniencing her and she was happy to do it so I thanked her a lot and said that would be great. She swung by this afternoon and we had a nice chat on the way to my appointment. We had another chat when she drove me home but I was wrung out and had a lot on my mind so I wasn’t as good a conversationalist. She wasn’t judgmental or prodding me for what had happened at my appointment and made the whole thing as un-embarrassing as possible and I really appreciated it.

My appointment with Dr P was difficult and had me thinking very hard. Dr P frowns on this but because things were different today I took some PRNs before I left home to try and cut down on the flop sweat and white knuckles. The good thing about it was that I wasn’t quite as lost in my own worries during the session. He told me that Dr C is back in the office but won’t be taking patients until at least early September. That’s perfectly fine – I’m in no rush to switch.

Then we started going over my week and talking about the ACT work we did last session. We were talking about whether I could see myself being able to go out and have a normal life even if I had to do it with the thoughts and worries that are bothering me so much. I remarked that I USED to be able to do that, and I didn’t understand why it’s so hard to get back to being able to do that. Something occurred to me at that point and I asked him a question – when he was leaving to go on his trip, didn’t he worry about his house, family, friends, car, work, plants… anything?

He looked at me and replied simply, “I don’t have OCD”.

That didn’t sound right so I said, “But while you were away, didn’t you think about your house? Did you have a friend drive by once in a while to check or something?”

He said, “I might have thought about it once or twice, but no, not really.”

It took me a little while to bend my brain around what he was saying. Up until this afternoon, I thought that EVERYBODY worried about things like the stove or the locks or the furnace or the tires, but “normal” people could compartmentalize that worry and set it aside when they were out of their comfort zone. It had never occurred to me that it’s not a matter of constantly but successfully dealing with those thoughts – people without OCD don’t have those thoughts AT ALL.

JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST.

Dr P could tell that I was thinking hard and asked me what was going on in my mind. I told him about what had just hit me and he asked me how I felt.

Two things came immediately to mind: I felt ripped off, and I felt extremely jealous. Ripped off because I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was a kid and didn’t realize that I could’ve done so much more, made more friends (and been a better friend to those that I have), done way better in school, been a better person, or asked for help much much earlier. Jealous because I can’t even imagine being in a situation where I’m not constantly dealing with the mental equivalent of one of those auctions where there are tons of people waving those paddles in the air, all demanding attention.

I would like to write more (about this and about other things I was hoping to fit in) but I need to go to sleep and get ready for tomorrow. Dad is coming over for a visit and I would really like to be coherent for the duration of the visit.

Stay safe.

Tired But The Day Was Alright

Song: “Mother’s Little Helper” by The Rolling Stones

Mood: 5.5

Nightmares: 0

Alright, it is way too late and I really need to get to bed.

A few bullet points:

– J’s day went very well. Lots of good info and meeting nice people.

– Today went alright for me.

– I’m didn’t sleep well and am tired.

– Did some writing.

– Gave my parents a call.

– Kept myself busy.

– Listened to more music.

– Thought about DA’s cabin again.

– Worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

– Did some reading.

– Watched some Community.

– Chased a bunch of ghosts, then gave up and used the ear defender trick again.

– Lunch was yogurt and Raisin Bran, supper was burgers and fries.

– J’s aunt offered to give me a ride to my appointment on Wednesday.

– FA is coming over tomorrow for lunch and talk/game/capers!

I need to get more sleep tonight and based on how I feel right now, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Stay safe.